Did you know the mouth is one of the most common sites for injury in children? If a child is injured in the face or mouth, a quick general assessment is needed to rule out more serious medical problems. Was there any loss of consciousness, vomiting, trouble breathing, or bleeding that does not stop? These are all signs the child should first be taken to medical emergency department. If the trauma involves the mouth and bleeding is occurring, use direct pressure with paper towel or washcloth. Keep in mind that when saliva mixes with blood, it seems to be a lot. Keep calm and apply pressure for 15 minutes. If this is a strictly dental trauma involving the lips, tongue, gum tissue or teeth, a dentist should assess and discuss treatment options. Some dental traumas do not need any treatment except observation.

Important questions when your child has a mouth injury:

• What was traumatized?
• Were any teeth fractured?
• Was the pulp (nerve) exposed?
• Were any teeth pushed out of their normal position?
• Were any teeth completely knocked out?

One of the most common dental injuries is a tooth fracture. There are couple of classifications but one of the most important is whether it involves that pulp/nerve tissue or not. If the fracture does NOT involve the pulp/nerve tissue, some sensitivity can occur from the exposed dentin (the layer underneath enamel). If the fracture does involve pulp/nerve of the tooth, increased amounts of sensitivity can occur and some type of treatment is likely. As portrayed in the picture, the pulp/nerve is exposed in the permanent tooth (the exposure is a small bright red or pink spot on the tooth).

Permanent and baby teeth can be injured without being fractured or pushed out of position. They may or may not bleed around the gum line. Frequently, permanent and baby teeth will need to be monitored with radiographs, but typically no treatment is needed. In primary teeth it is likely the teeth can change from orange, gray, or brown in color. As long as there is no sign of infection, there is no treatment needed at the time. In permanent teeth, if there is a color change and infection occurs, the tooth will likely need a root canal. If there is no sign of infection, intermittent monitoring is recommended.

For avulsed teeth or teeth knocked out of the socket, treatment will vary from baby teeth to permanent teeth. For a PERMANENT tooth, try to pick up the tooth by the crown (the white part), if the tooth is dirty, BRIEFLY (less than 10 sec) wash under cold water and try to place the permanent tooth back into its proper place. Once the permanent tooth is in the proper place have the child bite onto paper towel or washcloth. If it is not possible to place the tooth back into its original position, place tooth in cold milk or in Hanks balanced salt solution “save-a-tooth.” Doing this will help keep the cells alive on the tooth to aid in the reattachment of tooth into the socket and bone. DO NOT place the tooth in water, sports drinks or contact solution. These will kill the cells on the tooth. Call the dentist after placing in proper solution or tooth back in the socket. If the knocked out tooth is a BABY tooth, it is NOT recommended to place the tooth back into the socket.

Keep in mind, this is not an all-inclusive list of dental emergencies, but some of the more common traumas. If you ever have any questions about dental trauma or dental emergencies give your dental office a call to discuss.

About Dr. Garol
Dr. Whitney Garol attended Galena High School, then the University of Nevada, Reno where she graduated with distinction, receiving her Bachelor of Science degree in biology and a minor in psychology. Dr. Garol graduated magna cum laude with a doctor of dental medicine degree from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas School of Dental Medicine. Always having a passion for treating children, she decided to further her training with a pediatric dental residency at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. At one of the premier children’s hospitals in the nation, she received extensive training to provide excellent dental care to infants, children, and adolescents. She is a board candidate of the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry and active member of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry.

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Each day I wake up, from the non-restful sleep I attempted the night before, my mind is already racing with panic and fear of what lies ahead.  I worry about their moods, their happiness, their fears, and their successes.  I worry about what’s happening for dinner, what’s happening tomorrow, what’s happening this summer.  It’s constant…the worry. As a naturally anxious person (also confirmed by a doc), my sense of worry and panic seems to never settle.  And the unfortunate consequence of that-beyond my own internal stomach aches, loss of sleep, and never ending rapid heart rate-is that my children have to bear those burdens.

As a mother of two young kids, 5 ½ and 2 ½, my children have been the best thing I could have ever dreamed about.  They are lively, so funny, full of energy, and also the most caring and sweet little beings.  My husband is also fully committed to our family and so hands on that sometimes, I worry I am not doing enough.  Our family is happy, content, and all about love and care to one another.  We value family time more than anything.

However, on most days, this dark cloud shrouds our life and household-my anxiety.  It affects most things we do from simple, mundane tasks like dinner and laundry, but also more key events like family vacations, sickness, and school.  I over worry about things I can’t control, yet unsuccessfully manage my anxiety by worrying even more.  WHY IS THAT? (See what I mean?!?  Honestly, I even couldn’t sleep one night worrying about writing this blog.)

The most frequent thing that affects my children is my constant over-correcting and adjustment of things to try and “control” an outcome I can’t define or predict.  A good example is my son.  As any normal adolescent that is growing and changing his behaviors change too.  I am constantly “harping” on him about his behavior.  I have this terrible fear he’s going to grow up to be “bad kid.” (Now I have no real proof of this, but as an educator, I think I can see how good kids can quickly get lost along the way.) My other fear is that all he hears is me yelling, correcting, or telling him NO.  Will he resent me later in life because I was too hard on him?  Does he think I don’t love him? Does he realize I am just trying to shape him to be a great, young man? My husband then gets frustrated with me for losing my patience, not being positive enough, and worrying about something that is so down the line, he can’t understand why I am so anxious about it now.

In recent months, I have had many conversations about this topic with friends and family, and have come to realize that although my fears, concerns, and worries are true and real, they are not out of line for many moms.  I may act on mine more, or verbalize mine more often, but all moms worry.  And gosh darn it, that’s okay!  Right?

Crystal M. Edwards is a mom of two and is a former teacher of 10 years. She is currently Dean of Students and has been married for 7 years.

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Ladies, I am by no means a baby sleep expert, but I can share a few tips that have helped us to get our little guy sleeping through the night consistently by 6 months of age. He sleeps from roughly 7 PM to 6:30/7 AM, and he is down to just one nap as a one-year-old from about 12-3 PM daily. These are the things that we have done to get this little guy sleeping through the night:

Make sure that the room is conducive to sleep -We have black-out curtains in our son’s room so it seems like nighttime in there no matter what time of day that we put him down (we got ours here). Having these has been especially helpful with daylight savings time because he is going to bed when it is still fairly light outside. Another aspect of making his room “sleep friendly” was getting a white noise machine to avoid us waking him with every sound we made (especially getting ready in the morning) and a crib music/light machine to entertain him when he is falling asleep so he is not just sitting in a pitch black room. We got our white noise machine here and our adorable crib lights/sounds machine here (our little guy can turn it on himself which he really likes).

Make sure that baby is as comfortable as possible – At first, when our son was too young to have his blanket and stuffed talking bear in his crib, we just made sure that he had soft/cozy jammies on that would keep him warm throughout the night since we keep our house pretty cool. Now that he is over the 1-year mark we allow him to have his security blanket and talking bear in the crib with him. Our little guy, like most babies, sleeps much better when he is nice and warm so he sleeps in footed pajamas year round (again we keep the house pretty cool).

Have a solid before bed routine – Babies love routines! For us, our son has a dinner of solids around 5:15 PM, then we have a bath and quiet playtime, then we have time for books, and then he goes down in his crib around 6:30 with his sippy cup of milk (around 8 oz). He is always asleep by 7 PM after he drinks his milk and plays in his crib for a little while. Now I know that putting baby down with a bottle/sippy cup is not best practice, but he does not fall asleep with the sippy cup or milk in his mouth (which is the main concern when talking about baby bottle tooth decay). We are currently working on moving this milk drinking to an earlier time to avoid the bedtime sippy altogether though. We follow this routine every single night with a few exceptions for when we have evening plans or other engagements that require us to change the plan. I do notice though that when he does not have his usual evening routine he does not sleep as well and is generally more crabby the following day.

Make sure that baby is full before falling asleep – Since our little guy is cleared to eat everything under the sun, he gets an afternoon snack around 4 PM, followed by dinner at 5:15, and then his roughly 8 oz of milk before bed. Our child eats a lot of food at snacks and meals, so we just let him eat until he gives us the sign for all done whenever he is eating. If baby is actually full when they go to sleep they will usually sleep longer, especially after they start solids. This part can take many forms including a snack before bed or putting dinner closer to their bedtime. For babies that are not yet on solids, this may take the form of waking them a couple of hours after they go to bed to give them extra breast milk or formula to get them through the night (dream feeding).

Sleep training of some kind – I do realize that this one is a touchy subject that many moms don’t want to touch with a 10 foot pole, but in all reality you may have to entertain the idea of sleep training at some point unless you are comfortable waking at night to feed your baby for an extended period of time (which if you are, that’s awesome!). There are many books on the subject, but this was our experience. With the implementation of the above strategies, we had to do very little “sleep training” with our little one. When he was still exclusively breast fed, we would put him down in bed to fall asleep by 7 and then I would give him a dream feed around 10:30 to hold him over until morning. We had about 2 nights of him waking every 2-3 hours after that feed because he wanted the comfort of being breast fed. When this happened, we went in and turned on his crib music/lights and gave him back his pacifier. He did a very short amount of crying for about 2-3 minutes at each waking before self-soothing, watching his lights, and going back to sleep. After about 2 nights of this he was not waking in the middle of the night, and on the occasion that he did he was able to put himself back to sleep. We never had to go back in his room and comfort him because he quickly got entertained by the crib music/lights and quieted down.

If you are past the point of exclusive breast feeding and your baby has started solids, the same principles can still be implemented. If you know that baby is full and is just looking for the comfort of the breast/bottle, then they can fuss in their crib for a short time and learn to self-soothe back to sleep. Having the crib lights/music I think was really helpful in making this process less stressful for both me and our son because he had something to soothe him and did not just simply have to cry it out back to sleep (the whole process of cry it out really makes me uncomfortable as a parent so I wanted to minimize the stress as much as possible). Also, if your baby is old enough to have soft toys in their crib it may also be helpful to let them have a stuffed animal or two in their crib to “play” with briefly when trying to fall back to sleep. You may still have to go in and comfort them during the sleep training process, but try to stay strong and not give into the urge to just give them the breast/bottle. You will end up just undoing all of your hard work.

These were some of the strategies that worked for us in getting our little guy to sleep through the night while minimizing the stressful impact on all of us. Our son now very easily goes down to sleep on his own in about 15 minutes and sleeps for 12 hours solid at night. I am confident that other moms can use these strategies to get their babies sleeping through the night without the stress that other sleep training strategies can cause, mostly for mommas!

I’m Phoenix. I am a full-time nurse, wife, and mother to a beautiful one-year-old little boy. We are expecting baby number two very soon, and we are excited for the challenge that two under two will bring. I am passionate about helping moms create a more frugal lifestyle while still enjoying life and motherhood to the fullest. Please check out more stories at www.crazythingcalledmom.com

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It’s that time of year again…  Washoe County School District announces the teachers assigned to each student, and every parent in the school district gets their hands on the supply list for their child’s class… With the expectation that the supplies be delivered with the children the first day of school.

And the countdown is on. This means for the next week, every school supply section of every major box retailer is going to be jam packed with frazzled moms and kids suffering from sparkly object syndrome.

My children think our shopping experience will be like this. They think this shopping trip is going to be as awesome as Disneyland.

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I absolutely don’t have problems with the idea of shelling out the money for school supplies. I’m more than happy to invest in my children’s education.

It’s the EXPERIENCE of shopping and the obscure items on the supply list that just drives me up the wall. So when I finally get the courage up to go school shupply shopping, I’m like this.

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I find myself talking to myself and ranting under my breath in the middle of big box retailers.

Because it never fails that you find only 90% of that school supply list at your first stop…  And you spend an inordinate amount of time looking for one or two items on that damn list that happen to not be in stock or not packaged the way the teacher has requested.

Like today…  I needed a pack of black fine tipped Sharpies. Sounds simple. But Target only has a pack of fine tipped colored Sharpies, mixed with one black fine tipped Sharpie. There are packages of black medium tipped Sharpies, but NO pack of fine tipped Sharpies. So then I start talking to myself…

Should I buy multiple packs of multi-colored Sharpies and just create a pack of black fine tipped Sharpies, or should I drive to another big box store packed with parents and children in search of this item? How many Sharpies would constitute a pack? My God, that’d be like $20 in Sharpies. 

And before you know it, I’m berating myself for spending so much damn time debating Sharpies. And I’m like this…

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Also on today’s list was “small Post-Its”. Well, I found the regular sized Post Its. I found the type of Post Its that you use to mark a page. But none of the small Post-Its.

And I start talking to myself again.

Small Post-Its. Are the bookmark style ones too small? Do I have to drive to another store to find the exact size of Post Its? Should I just cut the normal Post Its in half?! Will my child be shunned by her sub-par Post Its?

And all of this is happening while my children pepper me with a thousand questions, and other frazzled moms are trying to get into the Post It section with their brood and carts as well.

Today, I overheard another mom grumble under her breath, “I hate Back to School shopping.”

And I was like

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So this post goes out to all you Mommas in the same boat as me. I’ll see you in the School Supply section. Because I still have to go back in search of those last few items. Get yourself mentally prepared for the battle that is the School Supply aisle.

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But keep the prize in mind…  Come next Monday….

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Get the details on this year’s event and come meet local moms!

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Every single day since I’ve been a mom, I’m fairly certain at some point during my day I have wished my kids came with an owner’s manual. Why won’t they just go to bed? Why won’t they just be quiet for one minute? What does that poop color mean? A troubleshooting manual would change my life. (Thank goodness there’s Google or the “phone a friend” option on occasion.)

One large challenge for me as mother has been oral hygiene. I will admit that this was a big shot to my poor little ego considering I am a dental hygienist. That’s right: I’m professionally trained for just this topic, so you can imagine the frustration.

I was out of town visiting family when my first son was 6 months old. One night, he woke from a sound sleep screaming. Not just a little cry, but wild, inconsolable screaming. Tears were streaming down his red cheeks, and he wailed all night long. He wouldn’t take a bottle. He wouldn’t take a pacifier. He wouldn’t calm with rocking or singing. Then I burst into tears. Worst. Mom. Ever. What kind of mom can’t help her baby? Me. I had failed Mom 101 in my book.

Well the next day as sunshine poured in through the window (and I pounded a pot of coffee) there was a shiny white little tooth peeking out of his gums. No one ever mentioned this is what teething is like. He was like this with every single tooth. I just became wiser: Low grade fever. Check. Restless sleeping. Check. Whiny. Check. Now I knew what to look for. My second son, by the way, is the absolute opposite. He is mellow and easy with teething, so every baby is different.

The next challenge I faced, and I am asked about all the time by patients and friends, is, “Now what?” Baby has a tooth, so now what do I do? I started using a damp washcloth to wipe out my son’s mouth and his little tooth. This does two things — cleans the tooth and helps baby to get used to oral care. I also gave him a kid toothbrush with water on it to chew on. As my son got older, I had to become more clever to get him to let me brush twice per day.

There is no shame in parenting. I would sing songs that I made up about brushing. I would do animal impressions. “Be an alligator for me! Oh my gosh, can you growl like a tiger with me? Let’s sing Old McDonald.” I would brush his front teeth on the E-I-E-I-O part.

He is 5 now and has become a great brusher and flosser. I feel a sense of pride when I see him taking care of himself. There were tears on both our parts, but it’s so worth it. Since I’m a dental professional, I must also note (before I’m publicly shamed by my peers) that parents should get their kids to see the dentist for their first appointment between 6 months and 1 year old. If you see something you’re concerned about, call your dentist. And for the love of God, please don’t make the dentist office sound scary. If you had a traumatic experience as a kid, please don’t tell your kids that before or at their own appointment. We are good people trying to take great care of your kid. Help us help you!

Jennifer Barger is a dental hygienist and native Nevadan. She has two boys, Jaxon, 5 and Landon, 10 months, and has been married to their awesome dad for 10 years. She received a Bachelor of Science in Business Management from the University of Nevada, Reno in 2005. She then went on to receive her Associate of Science in Dental Hygiene in 2010 from Apollo College in Boise, Idaho. She has been working in private practice in Reno since.

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My biggest and maybe most selfish reason for minimalism can be summed up in two simple words: less mess! As a stay-at-home mom of two young children, it feels as if the messes never end. Even when my kids “help,” clean up it is a whole lot of work. Pretty soon, our two-bedroom house starts to feel unmanageable.

As a mom, less clutter means taking away all my kid’s toys. NOT! It means teaching my kids that “toys” are not everything. That nothing is permanent. It means teaching my 3-year-old about donation and really loving the things that she does have because she chooses every day that this toy or book has an intentional purpose — to be loved.

As a wife and a teammate, it means putting more emphasis on the time together: the memories we make rather than the items we give. It means being intentionally with our money and not adding extra unnecessary burden on my husband to provide things we don’t really need. It also means seeing the most value in my husband as a person and knowing that every single day, we choose each other.

Lastly, but maybe most importantly as a human: Having less clutter can free up space, not only in your home and in your heart, but in your brain. Having less messes to pick up, less laundry to do, fewer bills or less debt to think about and making more intentional choices leaves space to breathe and think about what the “best me” genuinely looks like. What do I nine mugs every day I reach for my one? Or am I happy for the space in my cabinet to hold something else I find useful and enjoy?

Giving yourself permission to stop trying to keep up with the Jones’ is liberating. Deciding that “because everyone else is doing it” is not a valid reason to need or want something is a total paradigm shift. When did the internal dialogue shift from, “If Johnny jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?” to “Well Johnny is married and just bought his first house, don’t you think it’s about time you did too?”

I am not buying it, and I am also promising to only bring things, people, and energy into my life that I love and that I choose.

To me, that is the heart of minimalism, not how many spoons I have or if my kids have more than five toys. To me it is permission to myself — from myself — to only have things in our life that bring us joy or serve a purpose. It is to live intentionally and without clutter or anyone else’s priorities.

I want to live a less complicated life, less dramatic, less messy, less fighting over money and as I see it the quickest way to attain those things is to stop lying to myself about things I “need.” Air, my family, food and reasonable shelter I truly need! Everything else is a bonus, and in my opinion, too much bonus becomes complicated. There will always be a newer gadget, a newer model, a bigger something, and if you are so micro focused on those things, you are missing space in your life to truly enjoy what you have now — your health, your family, etc.

Tomorrow is never a guarantee, so decide what is actually important and cherish it today.

As the men who inspired me to take on this journey, the Minimalists, are famous for saying: “Love people. Use things. The opposite never works.”

About Britt Baysinger: My name is Britt, I am a work-from-home mom of two small kids. I am on a journey to find the healthiest, happiest, most present version of myself. This hope has led me to choose Veganism, minimalism, and home schooling. We are a little odd, but we embrace it! I work as the Vice President of The Team Lilly Foundation, a non-profit that assists families affected by childhood cancer.

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Have you ever stood in your pantry or in front of a cupboard full of food and thought, “Well, which of these items is going to kill my kid?” I’m sorry if you have. Really. It is incredibly frustrating. Your child is diagnosed with food allergies, and your entire meal planning/grocery shopping life is upended. Suddenly, all that time (and money!) spent on products that are “all natural” and “healthy” is a waste because all those foods are full of nut butters and coconut oil. Ok, that’s a mild exaggeration, but STILL. I’ve been there, full of Mom Guilt, because I’m buying the blue box graham crackers instead of the graham crackers with fewer ingredients with the label that tells me they are “GMO Free” with no preservatives. I’m here to tell you – IT IS TOTALLY FINE. Those preservatives are (probably) not going to send your kid to the ER like, in my daughter’s case, the coconut oil will.

So, how do we shop for these kids? I would love to tell you to grow vegetables, make your own bread and pasta, and to buy only foods containing ingredients you can pronounce. Blah. Blah. Blah. This is real life. I will tell you to grow vegetables because they are so much more delicious out of the backyard, and gardening is therapeutic. But, as for the other stuff, we are all the same – busy. Who has time to make bread and granola bars? Not me. Instead, I will share a few of my grocery shopping strategies to, hopefully, make your life a little easier.

Step #1: RESEARCH

First, I research labeling requirements. The FDA requires that all domestic and imported food products be labeled if they contain an ingredient or the proteins of an ingredient that is one of the top eight food allergens. The top eight are milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat and soybeans. These eight foods encompass 90 percent of all documented food allergies in the United States. These ingredients are either bolded as part of the regular ingredient list or listed under a “Contains: _______” statement near the ingredient list. Remember, cautionary statements such as “May contain” or “Processed in a facility” are not mandatory. If your kid, like mine, has an allergy outside the top eight, get ready to just read every label all the time. There isn’t a shortcut – grocery shopping will take forever.

Step 2: MAKE A PLAN

Second, decide early on how to handle foods with those cautionary statements. Are you going to avoid those foods completely? Will you feed your kid foods that are processed in a facility that also processes their allergen? These are personal decisions. Talk to your doctor. Think about your own child and your family. What works for you? Do that. Personally, we feed our girl foods that are processed in a facility that also processes her allergens regularly. We don’t buy things that “may contain” or are “processed on shared lines.” We do the best we can with the information we have. I don’t call the manufacturer from the grocery store, but I do use the resources available to make choices about the foods I buy her based on our comfort level.

Step 3: USE YOUR RESOURCES

Finally, use the internet. Facebook groups are amazing resources full of moms who do call/email the manufacturers to find out how often they clean their equipment or change their production facilities. My favorite online resource is snacksafely.com. It is a categorized detailed list of foods that is updated regularly. The website is a great resource for food allergies in general. Also, there are coupons!

Shopping for the food-allergic kid isn’t easy or fun, but it isn’t like grocery shopping was fun to start with, right? So, make the best of it, and stop by the wine aisle on your way to check out. See you there!

Theresa Birchfield is a Nevada native with a husband, two littles, a dog, and a job as a medical practice administrator. She loves reading and wine. She also loves school and is thinking of going back for another Master’s degree. You can often find her at Target. If she isn’t there, she is at home or work. She is also trying to find time to start exercising again – tips welcome!

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When I was contacted by a publisher and asked if I would write a book about Reno, my first thought was this:

Am I being Punk’d?

But then I realized it was legit and that Ashton Kutcher was not about to show up at my door; the publisher was asking me to write a book called “100 Things to Do in Reno Before You Die,” which, despite the title, was not in any way about dying.

Instead, it’s a bucket list book about Reno, one that would grow to include more than 100 ideas that fall into categories including food and drink; music and entertainment; sports, recreation and outdoor adventure; culture and history; and shopping and fashion.

(And by the way, I say “more than 100 ideas” because some of the “things” are lists of multiple “things,” which is how I cheated and jam-packed this book full of options for locals and visitors alike!)

So yeah, with the understanding of the scope of the book in mind, I had a second thought: I wanted this to be the kind of book to make people rediscover how incredibly spectacular Reno is.

I have lived here since I was 4 years old, and now, I’m raising my own three kids here — who range in age from 4-17.

So needless to say, I spend a lot of time trying to find fun, family-friendly and generation-spanning activities that all of my kids can enjoy.

While the book isn’t entirely dedicated to family-friendly activities, a vast majority of the suggestions are just that. And one of the best things I’ve heard from readers is that they’re using the book as an idea generator: When they’re at a loss of a fun activity on a weekend, they pick up the book, flip to a random page — and go!

Below are four examples of some lesser-known, family-friendly ideas I learned and experienced while compiling this book. And if you’re looking for more ideas, join me at The Nest (one of the “things” in the book!) next Saturday, Aug. 12, from 1-3 p.m., where I’ll be selling and signing books. I’d be happy to brainstorm a few other ideas for and your family!

Smiling with Hope Pizza

If you’re looking for an authentic New York experience in a suburb of Reno, this is your place! Though chances are, you had no idea you were even looking for that.

But trust me when I say: You are.

While the food is authentic and yummy and 5-star-Yelp-review worthy, the reason you’ll want to bring your kids here may have more to do with the mission. Owners Walter and Judy have made this a place welcoming of employees of all backgrounds, including those with developmental disabilities, training them to deliver the most incredible customer service experience you can imagine. You can walk in grumpy, yet leave feeling #blessed to live this most amazing life and just wanting to warmly embrace every single person you pass.

But don’t do that. We’re not quite there as a society yet.

Inclusiveness is the takeaway here — which includes a helping of the most melt-in-your-mouth garlic knots you’ve ever experienced. I’m not saying “tasted,” because they also will inspire a transformative multi-sensory experience.

Yes. They’re THAT good.

Details here. Their hours are a bit wonky, so pretty please check their website before you buckle your toddler (who is hangry and didn’t nap) into the 5-point car seat only to be met with a “CLOSED” sign. Smiling with Hope is located at 6135 Lakeside Dr #101 in Reno; (775) 825-1070.

Nevada Museum of Art

Sure, you’ve already heard about the NMA — if you haven’t already even been for yourself — and this is supposed to be a post about “little-known secrets.”

But what I truly believe is little known about the museum is its “Hands ON! Second Saturdays,” which happen — wait for it — the second Saturday of every month.

Mind blown, right?

Anyhow, these programs offer free admission and are the perfect way to inspire your littles to be interested in the offerings of a world-class museum.

It’s called “Hands ON!” because your children can get their hands dirty (with ART!) by participating in fun and engaging art activities, storytelling, live performances, and more.  They can enjoy time with museum staff, who will invite them to take a closer look at selected artworks while engaging in a dialogue about the selected pieces.

Themes and programs change monthly and rotate through cultural explorations, exhibition connections and community partnerships.

The next Hands ON! Second Saturday is this Sat., Aug. 12 from 10 am – 6 pm (which means you can check it out right AFTER meeting me at The Nest and picking up your copy of my book. Hint-hint.)

Details here.

Vikingsholm

Maybe you have a child fascinated by fairy tales. Perhaps you’ve seen enough Elsa from Frozen, Rapunzel from Tangled and Princess Poppy from Trolls to last a lifetime. You can recite every line, sing every song and mimic every dance move.

Oh wait. This is about you, not me. Redirecting.

Anyhow, I’ve enjoyed this hike down and back up again a few times with my kids, and I have to tell you: It’s magical. The hike is just enough to exhaust them for naptime, while not making them beg you with a chorus of “carry me!” over and over and over again.

Maybe just over and over. But no worries: you’ve got this! (Full disclosure: The trail back to the car is steep. Bring those squeezee apple sauces and some dry cereal for snacks.)

Until September, there’s even a 30-minute tour of the castle every 30 minutes — many of the original furnishings are still inside, and the interior is just as ornate and fascinating as the architecture outside. But more than anything else, the romantic castle setting, views of Emerald Bay, and the intoxicating aroma of pine from the surrounding forests will make your kids feel like they’ve visited a Nordic castle worthy of a visit by Kristoff and Sven themselves.

No Olaf until winter — or unless he brings his own personal flurry.

Details here. Tours are $10 for adults, $8 students 7-17 years and with valid college ID, and free for children under 7 years; purchase tickets at the Visitor Center just past Vikingsholm.

Picasso & Wine

Of course you’ve enjoyed Picasso & Wine for date night.

You have, right? (Note to self if you haven’t: Um, do it!)

But did you know that Picasso & Wine is also something to experience with your kids? (Well, sans the “wine” part.)

Check their calendars for “Family Days,” during which a different, easy-ish painting is taught for kids age 6 and up along with their parents. You bring your own snacks (nuts, Goldfish, Costco brownie bites, whatev), order a drink at the bar (they also have awesome mocktails for kids wanting to feel sophisticated), and enjoy fun family bonding over paint.

The best part: You don’t have to worry about getting acrylic paint out of that awesome vintage armchair that you forgot to cover in plastic the moment your kids were born. (But yeah, do that when you get home.)

PS. The next family day painting is Sunday, Aug. 20, and is $25 per person. See you there!

PPS. Many of their painting classes are for those age 16 and up, so this is also a fun thing to do with teens!

Details here. Check calendars for family days. Picasso & Wine has locations in Midtown, at the Summit mall and in Carson City, and is expanding to Sparks soon!

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OK, so there’s SO MUCH MORE I could share! Like having your kids experience a delivery from MARS — the Mathewson Automated Retrieval System, which retrieves books in the library at UNR; taking them to explore downtown art on a Midtown Mural Tour; visiting the underground mine at the Nevada State Museum; or gathering up their gently used books and using them for credit toward a new book at Grassroots Books.

So if you’re interested in family excursions, grab a copy of “100 Things to Do in Reno Before You Die”; the book is only $16, which means that’s less than 16 cents per idea!

Join me at The Nest, Sat., Aug. 12 from 1-3 p.m.

201 Keystone Ave, Reno, NV 89503

Phone: (775) 284-8841

Details here. And anyone who stops by will be entered to win a prize from a “thing” in the book!

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Do you ever just wake up and feel like ‘now what?’ I woke up this morning, and I just feel really sad. Sad because I feel like the universe is just kind of giving me the cold shoulder. I’m going through a multitude of really harsh realities right now, and I find myself wishing that I could just hold on to moments past, but the moments just keep passing. Life is about change and transition and to embrace it is strength. I know this, and I accept this, but what do you do in the moments where you can’t find a branch to grab on to?

I’m on a good path. My husband and I have really buckled down some goals and decisions, and we are chipping away at them one by one. I find a lot of strength in this unit with him, and I’m so grateful for that because that’s my bracing point. Still, I’m sad. I feel like I’m watching the Star Wars credits, but it’s my life flying past me like shooting stars. There’s the basics that are always changing, like work and money; I don’t put too much emotional stock into those things, I just try to roll with the punches in that regard.

It’s the important things like family that I feel like I can’t get a hold of today. Our children go through these changes in who they are, what they need from you and what they give back to you as well. I have an 11-year-old little girl going through this huge transition from playfulness to this deeply sentient young lady trying to define her identity, and I just want to stop it. It’s not always pretty. She’s changing, and all of a sudden instead of grabbing my hand, she keeps me an elbow away.

My 21-year-old son is moving away. He’s been out of the house for a few years now. He’s always been a stone’s throw away, so I generally know what he’s up to, and there is comfort in that for a mother. We are close, but he didn’t leave on my terms, and I wasn’t ready. He was ready to take on the world. And he is now — kind of callous about it really. It feels harsh. Like a goodbye. I’m excited for his new adventure. I’m proud and I’m so glad he’s grabbed on to that independence, but I want to grab on. It’s a very contradictory feeling of emotional inertia.

It makes me wonder what’s next in this stage of being a mother. I feel like I have to start over from scratch trying to connect with these humans that I brought into the world, but instead of keeping them alive, I have a whole new role. Just when you think you’ve got this parenting stuff down, you get hit with a giant meteor, and all of a sudden you are in the twilight zone. Parenting isn’t always peachy, and as much as I would like to think I’ve got it all together, I’m feeling a little lost.

So today I’m just in the feels. I suppose this is just another one of those moments I’m supposed to take in and let transition me. For anyone else that might understand, perhaps you could share some insight.

Angelina Marie Jones is a coffee-drinking, spatula-wielding home baker, sensible-flats-but-red-lips kind of mom and wife. Born and raised in Reno, she has two fantastic kids ages 21 and 11. She is newly married, has the world’s coolest dog and celebrates her Midtown pride.

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Hello mamas! My name is Melanie. I’m a wife to a wonderful man, and we are going on five years together. We have two boys, ages 3.5 and 11 months. I’ve had the privilege of being able to stay home with our boys from the very beginning. It hasn’t always been easy, and I’ve had many moments of self-doubt in my role as a stay-at-home mom, but it was the right choice for our family for many reasons.

It doesn’t matter whether you work, stay home, or do some kind of hybrid or in-between — motherhood is no joke! And at the end of the day, it seems to me that self-doubt is a universal affliction of motherhood. It’s so easy to slight yourself and criticize the job you’re doing, or quickly compare your situation to that of another.

Just in case you haven’t said this to yourself today, YOU are the perfect mom for your children, and you’re doing a great job. Each time you go through the mundane, day-to-day menial stuff — you are loving your kids well. Did you give someone a bath last night? Drive someone to soccer practice? Did you take interest in your child’s day? Wash their dirty socks? Did you make someone a meal today? (This is a no judgment zone, so if it was mac ’n’ cheese or Cheerios, I still got your back! And I’ve done it too).

So now that we’ve introduced ourselves — I’ll get down to the nitty gritty.

Something that’s been on my mind lately is the idea of community — the kind of community that existed in the ’90s, and of course preceding the ’90s: You let your kid go outside, watch them knock on their neighbor’s door, and let them tear it up on your front lawn as they run through the sprinklers and play with the hose together. Or you host a very impromptu play-date with the neighborhood kids and feed everyone messy PB&Js in your backyard, not giving a lick if your table got sticky — because there’s a melodious hullabaloo of laughter and friendship, of a buncha’ sweet kids up in your home.

Anyway, I write about this idea of community because it’s something I long for deeply. It’s actually something I feel I’ve been chasing since I became a mother. And you know, I know I’m not the only one. You see, this motherhood thing — no one talks about the fact that it can feel lonely. It can feel scary. Little (or bigger) human lives are in our midst and under our care. Don’t underestimate the value of you, mama. Your kids need you — not the perfect you, because she doesn’t exist — but the best version of you. In order to do this thing well, we need to bring back the old idea of the village.

So let’s bring back the ’90s! Okay, we can’t do that. But, we can start to feel okay with the idea of being vulnerable with one another. Let’s create a genuine, authentic community.

Melanie Menon, her husband and two boys recently relocated from the Bay Area, CA. Melanie formerly worked in the mental health field and has been a stay-at-home mom for the last 3.5 years. She is fond of early bed times, wine, time with her husband, and Nevada sunsets. Melanie and her family look forward to planting roots and building community in Reno.

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I’ve always been an active classroom volunteer at my daughter’s elementary school, but last year, as the changes with the Nevada School Wellness Policy started rolling out and I heard the desperate call for new board members on the school’s parent-faculty association, I decided that I wanted to be more involved in the goings-on at the school. The position of Communications Chair of the PFA (or, as your school might call it, PTO, PFO, PTA, or some other such thing) was available—perfect for me, a freelance writer and editor—so I threw my hat into the ring and was voted in.

It has not always been an easy row to hoe, I’ll admit. I am the liaison between the school’s parents, families, and teachers and the association members who bother to show up at our monthly meetings to make decisions that affect our school—usually just our five-person board, one or two teachers, the principal, and, if we’re lucky, two or three other parents. Hardly anyone knows we exist, and far fewer get involved. I keep track of our membership and contact list, create a monthly newsletter, and beg people to donate or volunteer at our numerous fundraising events.

One of these events is a special one in my heart, and I know of no other school that does it (if yours does, please let me know, as I’m curious): the back-to-school barbecue. Held one evening the week before school starts, the event offers students and families an opportunity to come and reconnect with friends and teachers, meet their new teachers for the upcoming year, and purchase a really cheap dinner and even sno-cones for the family. It’s also an opportunity for folks to sign up for or renew their annual membership to the PFA.

This is always a frustrating task for me. You wouldn’t think getting people to register their families for $10 a year, for an organization that not only pays the annual salary for the PE teacher but also raises funds for needed school supplies, equipment, and services, would be so difficult, but every year it is. Many folks simply don’t see the value of it. This was summed up for me by one woman who, upon my asking if she wanted to sign up for the PFA, asked me, “What do I get for my $10?”

I’ve literally never had anyone ask me this. I mean, this isn’t Target. Her question made me realize that she viewed this $10 as a purchase, not an investment—but what was she buying? What commodity does this organization have to offer? What did she want, a cookie? And why would she pay us, when what we offer is given to her for for free?

I went on to explain that she would be added to my contact list of members and provided with valuable information about upcoming fundraisers and school events, and she’d be the first to know about our efforts. It sounded weak to my own ears.

“But…doesn’t the school already send that info out?” she asked me.

I was stumped. Yes, they do. But how can I explain the benefits of what we do to a person like this, who commodifies even a nonprofit school organization that benefits students and teachers? I mean, first, what’s wrong with a parent who does this?

I can rant all day about this.

Instead, I’ll tell you just 10 things she’d get for her $10 (and there are others not listed here). Here’s exactly what you get for the minimal investment you make in a parent-faculty association:

1. Smarter, more engaged kids. There’s plenty of research out there showing that parent involvement in school helps to make children successful. They enjoy enhanced social functioning and fewer behavior problems. This includes high-quality and frequent communication with teachers and involvement in school functions and activities. Not only that, but it characterizes parents’ values and attitudes about education and their aspirations for their kids. In other words, if you show you care about your kids’ school, it helps them to care more, and thus do better than they might otherwise. I mean, that’s worth $10 a year, right? To me it is—we could stop right there, but here are 9 more reasons, for you folks who are as yet unconvinced.

2. A PE teacher (or other otherwise-unpaid but vital resource). Our school’s PFA pays the salary of the PE teacher—a licensed gentleman who costs us several thousand dollars a year to give our kids some much-needed physical activity (the only activity some get), but whom we could not pay otherwise, thanks to slashed funding for such things at the district level. Yes, it sucks that schools can no longer fully afford “luxuries” like PE teachers, computer labs, library books, and music programs. Should schools be paying for PE teachers? Absolutely. But let’s face facts, folks, they aren’t, and you can sit around griping about it or help out. Think about this: Our school has about 550 students enrolled right now. Imagine if every one of those students’ families paid a $10 PFA registration fee each year. That alone would give us $5,500 dollars, going a long way toward helping us satisfy our commitment to the PE teacher, with the rest of fundraising going immediately to other priorities—Computers! Chairs! iPads! Which leads me to #3…

3. Well-stocked and appreciative teachers. Here’s a sampling of the little stuff that means a lot that we have been able to purchase for teachers in the last year—stuff they’d otherwise have to buy themselves because no funding exists for them elsewhere:

• Chair-back pockets to hold students’ supplies, for those who use tables instead of desks
• A computerized program and accompanying materials for the school counselor to use in helping students’ emotional development
• Stools so that teachers can work with groups of students around tables
• Books to help cross off teachers’ library wish lists
• Money into an account to help teachers with their supply wish lists
• Funding for a Solace Tree program aimed at helping grieving children and families
• Subscription to IXL, a tremendous computer program used as a supplementary resource by teachers at all grade levels for reinforcing reading and math skills

These things totaled roughly $5,000—again, imagine if everyone paid that PFA registration fee.

And these aren’t all we provided in a year’s time. There’s also the funding we offered to help pay for buses used on field trips, gift cards and raffle prizes purchased to use as giveaways at fundraisers, food to be sold at fundraisers, an old boom box with a tape player that one teacher wanted to use for a learning unit, new iPad covers, headphones for students to work on iPads in classrooms, food provided to teachers during Teacher Appreciation Week, snacks provided to students in 3^rd-6^th grade during the weeks they took the arduous SBAC tests…

And MORE! MUCH, MUCH MORE!

I don’t need to tell you how critical this funding is to our teachers, and, as a result, our students. But maybe I do? Schools don’t provide all this funding and equipment. Did you think they did? And if parent-faculty organizations don’t buy them, guess who must? The teachers. It’s a sad state of affairs, and we all resent it, but the fact is, Nevada lags behind almost every other state in the nation for its funding to schools. But instead of complaining, at least parent-faculty organizations are DOING something about that. Your membership dollars and year-round contributions help!

4. A stronger connection to the principal, teachers, and other parents. One of my favorite aspects of being on the PFA is the bonds I’ve forged with the principal and numerous teachers—who now know me and my child on sight—as well as fellow volunteer and board member parents who also happen to be my neighbors. Our kids have become friends, and we share information and resources with each other. If you think teachers don’t take more notice of kids whose parents are active in PFA activities, you’re wrong. They absolutely do, and I want to have those connections. When my daughter met her new teacher at this summer’s back-to-school barbecue, she recognized the name instantly from my regular mass emails, and I was instantly more memorable and connected to her—and, by extension, so was my daughter. I can’t help but think that will benefit us.

5. Insider knowledge about the school and future events. At our monthly meetings, principals and teachers clue us in to what issues or initiatives are coming up, and the whole group is involved in planning events for the school year. We’re the first to know about when tickets will go on sale (we even set the ticket prices!), what food will be available, what kids got into the talent show, what new equipment we’ll need to raise money for, and much more. I like being a person who’s knowledgeable about what’s going on behind the scenes at school. And as a result, my child never misses out on anything fun.

6. Career skills and resources. I wouldn’t say I’m now any kind of expert on creating newsletters with Microsoft Word, but I did have to teach myself to do it in order to be Communications Chair. I’ve also had to learn how to create and edit a Google Sites website, how to create an online membership sign-up form, how to find and use a new volunteer online sign-up form, how to draft mass emails and social media posts that get reader engagement, how to write a letter to solicit donations, and more. I am sure all of these skills will be useful to me in my career. Just as managing money, creating spreadsheets, rounding up donations and volunteers, and planning events can be useful to most anyone in the working world (take note, stay-at-home moms looking to beef up your resumes!). And then there’s the networking—having a group of people working side by side with me who now know that I write and edit for a living might just turn into a referral down the road.

7. Action, not just talk. One of the reasons I started volunteering regularly in my daughter’s classroom and on the PFA was that I wanted to play a role in my daughter’s education. I make a living by sitting at a computer and talking about a lot of stuff. I write blog posts about school overcrowding and the wellness policy and the overuse of Pinterest at classroom parties. But this gives me an actual opportunity to put my money where my mouth is. I can play a role in making a change. I want my daughter to learn that you have to BE the change you want to see. This is one way I can do this.

8. A seat at the table in determining solutions. If I don’t like how the meetings have been at times that didn’t work, or if I didn’t like the way a certain event was run, at least now I can actually voice my opinion and try to steer a new course. We set new ticket prices for several events this year, created two new fundraising events, and set a lofty goal of raising $50,000 to buy 30 new computers for the school. We help drive how money is raised and spent at school. I want to be part of those solutions whenever I can. And if it doesn’t work, hey, at least I tried.

9. Your kids’ admiration and respect. My daughter thinks my PFA job is really cool. She gets to know all the news about upcoming events before her friends. She gets to help me sell scented pencils or carnival tickets, which makes her feel very important as she counts out tickets or hands back change. She gets to enter the school early with me, before all her friends, and come to the copy room while I make copies of the newsletter and sometimes chat with her teachers. She’s proud of the role I play at her school, and it only enhances her feeling of community there. If that isn’t worth $10 to you, I don’t know what is.

10. Fun. Yes, it can be a lot of work, thankless work, helping run this organization that few parents even notice. But being involved in the various events we plan throughout the year is also a huge adrenaline rush. I’ve made new friends and consider this a social outlet. Part of what makes the school year enjoyable is these little events on the calendar along the way.

Of course, I’m fortunate: I have the time to be involved at this level because I work from home and manage my own schedule. Not everyone can be a board member or come to monthly meetings. You might not even be able to come to more than one or two events during the school year. I get that, believe me. But I don’t think it has to be all or nothing, either. Volunteer for one event. Come to one meeting. Help solicit a donation for the silent auction. Show up to voice your concerns. Lend your talents and knowledge, and you’ll be rewarded tenfold. And so will your school.

I think that’s worth the $10 membership fee, don’t you?

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Reno Moms Blog is proud to partner up with local non-profit Think Kindness to offer FREE tickets to the One Caring Adult Tour on September 11. Parenting a teen or pre-teen is hard, and this event will give you ideas on how you can be the adult to inspire our local teens to tackle challenging situations head on.

Josh Shipp, renowned teen development expert will be hosting a keynote and open Q&A at Damonte Ranch High School in Reno, Nevada on September 11, 2017.

Get your free tickets by visiting thinkkindness.org/OCA and use the coupon code RENO-MOM. Signed copies of Shipp’s book, One Caring Adult will be available for purchase at the event.  Shipp will also be on stage with other leading youth development experts walking the audience through the toughest parts of raising a child.  

TOPICS COVERED

You’ll experience a hilarious and insightful Q&A session tackling communication, trust, bullying, difficult and awkward conversations.

HELP US CREATE A MORE CARING COMMUNITY

Through inspiring more caring adults, we can create a more caring community. By hosting an open dialog and workshop, we can inspire others to make a difference in our community.  Together we can make it a better place to be.  

ABOUT JOSH SHIPP

Josh Shipp was once an at-risk foster kid turning down a road that is statistically filled with homelessness and prison, turned his life around when he met the one caring adult who changed his life. Now Shipp dedicates his life as a global youth advocate and proclaimed “teen whisperer” working alongside educators and parents to inspire caring adults in communities across the globe. Shipp has been featured on Oprah, CNN, Good Morning America, the New York Times, and is also the author of the book One Caring Adult as well as the founder of Top Youth Speakers.  

Learn more about Josh by visiting his website: www.joshshipp.com

Or by watching THIS quick video

ABOUT THINK KINDNESS

Think Kindness inspires measurable acts of kindness in schools and communities around the world.  We believe that every act of kindness, no matter how small, has an unforeseeable ripple effect that makes the world a better place.  Through our year-round school curriculum, 15 Days of Kindness challenge, and working with youth advocates such as Josh Shipp, we aim to create a better world for us all one small act of kindness at a time.

Learn more about Think Kindness by visiting www.thinkkindness.org

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A quick introduction: I’m married, I have a full-time job, I work from home on days that I’m not frantically traveling across the country, and I have two kids, ages 2 and 5. From the outside, we are living the American Dream. We have a cat, a dog (AND they like each other), a house in suburbia, a boy, a girl (and they SOMETIMES like each other), and a well-functioning marriage (when I’m not hungry). From the outside, it looks like we have all of our shit together.

But that, my friend, is where you’re wrong.

We live in the day in age of social media, where we like to paint pretty pictures of the love we slather on our children. And while my kids are a large part of my life, they aren’t the only aspect of it.

My least favorite saying that one parent can say to a new parent is “enjoy every second of it!” It’s good natured advice, well-intentioned, but complete and utter bullshit.

Here’s an example. I travel. A lot. Sometimes, I have no idea where I am, or what time zone. I have a husband who is happily on this journey of parenthood with me. And, let’s just say that there is an alarming number of times (seven), that my son has pooped in the bath when I’m conveniently on a business trip. This NEVER occurs when I’m home. It ONLY occurs when my husband is flying solo. And is by no means an accident. Granted, my son is 2, but I swear has a vindictive streak about taking baths when it’s just my husband.

And you’re telling me to enjoy every second of poop duty? I don’t think so.

The reality is that parenting is hard. And from missed broken bones (true story), to missed hours of sleep (obviously, true story), we all make sacrifices. Sometimes, we make choices that give us a little bit of sanity back in a day full of insanity. Sometimes, we make sacrifices that give up some of that hard-earned sanity. But regardless of your situation, ‘having it all’ is a misnomer.

And so, without further ado, A Day in the Life of a Mom Who “Has It All” (Weekend Edition).

5:59 a.m.: House is clean.

6:00 a.m.: Husband wakes up to leave for Drill. Husband makes lots of noises in man cave (bathroom) for 20 minutes, effectively ruining “sleeping in.”

6:37 a.m.: Kids awaken with the energy of a rampaging elephant. Kids ensure that mom is awake with the energy of a rampaging elephant.

7:02 a.m.: Plan for gym ruined when Pink Eye appears. But who was I kidding anyway? Parents don’t go to the gym until their kids are old enough to watch themselves.

7:15 a.m.: Mom win, prescription for Pink Eye found, and administered (with doctor approval, sheesh).

7:59 a.m.: House no longer clean.

8:04 a.m.: Try to follow 5-year-old with sanitary wipes to ensure no spreading of Pink Eye.

8:05 a.m.: Give that up as a bad idea.

8:07 a.m.: Try to convince 5-year-old that cleaning up with sanitary wipes is a “fun game.”

8:09 a.m.: Give that up as a bad idea, too.

8:12 a.m.: House exaggeratedly no longer clean as Taylor (daughter) is determined to spread Playdoh as far as the eye can see in a matter of actual minutes. I think I can actually see the Pink Eye infesting everything she touches.

8:15 a.m.: House ridiculously unclean as Taylor spills the third drink on computer, table, Playdoh, and brother.

8:30 a.m.: Leave to take the kids on a walk, because gosh darn it, we are going to exercise today.

8:35 a.m.: Do most of the walking. Kids have retreated to heavy stroller. Get unanticipated level of workout.

9:05 a.m.: Text husband to ask him what we were thinking when we had kids.

10:00 a.m.: Is it 4:30 p.m. yet?

10:05 a.m.: Take kids to car wash, clean out 10 months of toys from the back of my car. Threaten to throw them away the next time they end up there. (But never actually follow through on that threat.)

10:45 a.m.: Go to Michaels armed with hand sanitizer. Tell Taylor not to touch anything. But we really need all the stuff to create t-shirts for our Disney World trip, because how in the world will people know we’re a family without them?

10:46 a.m.: No, you can’t have that. No, you can’t have that. No, you can’t have that. No, you can’t have that. No, you can’t have that. No, you can’t have that. Fine, that’s on sale, you can have that.

11:15 a.m.: Return home to create said t-shirts.

12:00 p.m.: T-shirts complete, painted, and beautiful.

12:01 p.m.: T-shirts ruined when 5 and 2-year-old touch them to see what it feels like. And by touch them, I mean touch them with their face, and then rub them all over the place. Any guesses WHICH t-shirt was ruined? Mine, of course.

12:45 p.m.: Lunch out, because #badparent. Hand sanitizer in hand. Taylor strikes up a conversation with a stranger, and her second sentence was, “I have Pink Eye.”

12:46 p.m.: Get glared at by stranger for bringing her out in public.

12:47 p.m.: Text husband to see when he’s coming home, because Mother of God.

12:48-2:31 p.m.: My Little Pony coma.

4:29 p.m.: Husband has arrived.

4:30 p.m.: Leave house, headed for Target and pedicure sanctuary.

5:59 p.m.: Pedicure complete.

6:01 p.m.: Return home. 2-year-old immediately steps on toes and ruins said pedicure.

6:02 p.m.: Mom loses shit.

7:32 p.m.: Kids asleep.

7:33 p.m.: Mom looks on as kids sleep, thinking “they are just the best.”

Rinse, cycle, repeat.

Enjoy every second? Hardly. But I enjoy the enjoyable seconds and take stock in the rest, knowing that they’re all part of the big picture of parenthood.

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You may have heard the rumors, and they are true, the St. Marys Women’s Health Practice is closing October 13th.

Sarah Geo Walton is the owner of Bright Heart Birth Services, a Doula, Placenta Encapsulation Specialist and Childbirth Educator.

Sarah grew up around birth and an empowered do it yourself environment.  She has always been drawn to supporting others and is so excited to have made it her career.

She is a Nevada native, mother of a wild 2 1/2-year-old child and lover of all things intuitive, connective and vulnerable.

www.brightheartbirth.com

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Being a military family has its benefits. One of those benefits is that our family gets to travel and experience America and even the world. After each move into our temporary home, we get to learn and adopt the local culture and social norms. We slowly over the few years we live at each home become locals. Of course, each of those duty stations changes us forever, and we become an eclectic mix of multiple cultures. This also make us masters of camouflage, as we are quick to adapt and learn what is necessary to become a local. However, with my family, it is slightly harder to be camouflaged against the locals.

There are just a few more of us than the average family, and no matter where we go, people notice. It is nice when this noticing prompts people to approach us telling us about how much they love to see larger families. However, usually the noticing takes a negative tone. Sometimes my husband and I exchange looks, not quite sure if we should believe what our ears have told us has come out of the mouth of a stranger.

Sometimes these comments are made by fellow moms. I consider their face as they make an exasperated comment while trying to juggle their errands while attending to one or two children at their side. I see in their eyes they are overwhelmed. We moms of many children are no different than any other moms, but I do wish I could take the time to tell her that it is all going to be okay.

As the mom of many, I know you’re overwhelmed. All moms get overwhelmed, and it’s okay. It’s all temporary. This phase your child is going through that has you completely frazzled will pass. You will look back and remember how hard it was, but that’s okay. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes motherhood is hard. You are not alone.

I see that you’re exhausted. You are 100 percent tired. I am tired too. Oh, so tired! However, I am not 500 percent more tired because I have more children than you do. We are moms. We are all tired together! I am told that once our littles get older, we will miss being completely exhausted. I am going on faith here that they are right!

We moms of many tend not to get stuck on the little things. This does not make us more evolved than any other mom. It means that we have less time to worry about those things. One of my children absolutely insists on wearing his pants and shirt inside out, backwards, or any combination of both. I could take the time and energy to fight him to ensure he looks put together when we leave the house, but it’s not worth it. I have faith that those who see us have been there and done that and know that will of a toddler is strong! In the long run, it will not hurt that for six months of his life, he walked around in public with his shirt inside out and backwards! It’s okay!

So, moms, have faith that you are not being judged. We moms of many have been there, and we are right there in the thick of motherhood alongside you. It’s all going to be okay. Have faith.

My name is Julie and I am a mother of four. My husband and I are expecting our fifth child in December. We currently live in Fallon, and my husband has a career in the U.S. Navy.

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When we went to the hospital to have our first baby, you bet I was prepared. I had my hospital bag packed at least three months in advance of my induction, and I had spent a whole lot of time finding the perfect outfits for both myself and my baby to wear home. With this baby due in less than three months, I am hoping to at least have a bag packed before I go into labor. With a 1- year-old and a full-time job, we will see if it actually gets done!

Here are the things that I would say are necessities for any mom’s hospital bag.

Comfortable clothes and multiple pairs of underwear – I am not saying that you need to look like a total slob while staying at and leaving the hospital, but you are going to want to be comfortable, no matter what type of birth you have. Also, depending on the type of birth you have, you may be at the hospital for multiple days; I don’t know about you, but I did not enjoy wearing hospital gowns. I would suggest bringing a couple of pairs of sweats/leggings, nursing bra, and some t-shirts/sweatshirts depending on the weather. If you want to not have to pull your shirt up to nurse while you are at the hospital, make sure that your tops are nursing friendly. You might want to also bring a pair of your favorite jammies to make you comfortable. Also, bring a few pairs of those ugly underwear unless you want to use the ones provided by the hospital (which are totally fine).

Socks/Slippers/Shower shoes – If you are a germaphobe like I am, you are going to want to have something on your feet at all times while in the hospital. I chose socks/slippers that I did not take home with me after my hospital stay; they were comfortable for the time I wore them and were easily disposed of when I left. I also brought a very cheap pair of flip flops to wear in the hospital shower, because I definitely was not going barefoot in there.

Toiletries that you use every day – You are going to want to be as comfortable and “in your element” as possible while staying in the hospital, so it would be wise to bring travel-sized bottles of your normal shampoo/conditioner/face wash/moisturizer so that you can feel a little more like yourself in the hospital. I would also highly suggest bringing things like hair ties, chapstick, and maybe a few makeup essentials like mascara if you are looking to get a little bit more “done up” for pictures after birth. You DO NOT need to bring pads or anything of that nature, as the hospital will provide these.

Something for baby to wear home – We brought two pairs of footed pajamas and a few onsies for our little guy, because we were not sure how long we would be staying in the hospital. You will want that cute little outfit for your guy/gal to wear home, but it would be wise to just bring a couple extra things if you end up being in the hospital for a few days. We didn’t bring any mittens or hats with us, but depending on the weather where you live, you may want to bring these things. You DO NOT need to bring diapers/wipes, as these will be provided by the hospital, and blankets are generally provided by them as well.

Car seat for baby – This one is pretty self-explanatory. You cannot take baby home without having an approved infant car seat or convertible car seat that is rated for your baby’s weight. Some hospitals do not let babies go home in convertible car seats, however, so be aware of your hospital’s policy before buying.

Chargers/cords/technology/entertainment – You will want to remember your phone and phone charger for both yourself and partner. Also, if you plan on taking pictures with a camera, you will need that and the charging cord/batteries. You may also want to bring an iPad/laptop/iPod for music or entertainment, depending on how long you will be in labor and how long you will be in the hospital. We had a lot of time at the beginning of my induction, so having some technology to distract us was nice. We also played quite a few card games while in labor, so maybe pack a set of those too.

Stuff for dad – You will want to make sure that your partner has all of their necessities as well, such as clothing and toiletries prepared for a 3-day stay (C-section mamas are required to stay this long). You will also want to maybe pack some snacks for your partner, depending on how much food your hospital provides for the partners of mothers (ours only provided my husband one meal the entire time we were there at no charge).

Extras – These are things that you may want, depending on your preference. Your own pillow/pillowcase may be nice, as the hospital ones are generally very flat and uncomfortable. You may also want to bring things like nursing pads/nipple cream, but I found that I didn’t use these things at all while in the hospital considering I very rarely wore my nursing bra to begin with. Also, you can bring a copy of your birth plan if you weren’t able to attach it with your hospital registration; however, birth does not always go as planned, so be prepared to make deviations to your set plan as needed throughout your stay. If you want anything special for during your birth process, you can also include that in this category!

Do you have other items to add to the checklist? Let me know in the comments below!

Print out a hospital bag checklist here.

I’m Phoenix. I am a full-time nurse, wife, and mother to a beautiful 1-year-old little boy. We are expecting baby number two very soon, and we are excited for the challenge that two under 2 will bring. I am passionate about helping moms create a more frugal lifestyle while still enjoying life and motherhood to the fullest. Please check out more stories at www.crazythingcalledmom.com.

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Question: I am interested in better understanding how to handle the lack of intimacy with my wife. Sex for her has become a chore, and she has lost interest. I am still interested.

Answer:  I have given a great deal of thought to this question. First, it is important to point out that I am not a doctor, but one potential answer would be for your wife to have a physical in general. There are potentially some hormonal imbalances that exist that a doctor can help with. Generally speaking, I think it is important for men to understand the roller coaster that women go through when it comes to balancing an intimate relationship with our significant other and the rest of our lives (working, children, friends, etc.).

In the beginning of a relationship, there are actual chemical changes that occur in the body, attracting you to a new lover. Most people, regardless of age, will report that in the beginning of a relationship, it is impossible to keep your hands off of your partner. That part of a relationship lasts for different periods of time, but there is a honeymoon phase, and many people fall in love during this time and make commitments (even marriage) during this time. Like all good things, this chemical phase ends. There are two ways it can end up. One is that sex stays sex and becomes less interesting to one or both partners and the relationship changes or even ends. The other is that the relationship becomes deeper and a different intimacy develops that isn’t just physical in nature any longer. There is deep trust, and passion takes the place of lust. Not all relationships get to this deeper connection, and the roller coaster of trying to understand what happened to the sex life in a relationship begins.

The Roller Coaster Ride Begins

From a woman’s perspective, I can say the first time I truly realized that I was going to have to really understand the difference for men and women and sex was when my first child was born. I was changing his diaper when my husband walked up behind me and grabbed me flirtatiously. I remember turning away from the disgusting smelling diaper and looking at my husband thinking “yep, you nailed it buddy. I was just sitting here with baby poop on my finger and all I could think about was you naked!”  The dilemma of motherhood and being a wife crushed me like a ton of bricks in that moment. I can’t speak for all women, but when I had young children, I was constantly touched all day long by children needing hugs or kisses or just clinging to me. By bedtime, I just wanted to go to sleep. What I really needed to hear from my husband was that he understood that I was wiped and wanted to be sure I got a good night’s sleep. I was too young to even communicate that, and sex did feel like an obligation some of the time. That marriage ended after 10 years mostly because we were too young when it started to address these important issues.

Being single in my early 30’s was a challenge, as I didn’t want to be out dating when I had three children at home. I would go out when my kids were with their dad, but I wasn’t 20-something and wasn’t looking for a one-night stand. I wanted to find something meaningful, so those were some challenging times.

I got married again at 35, and we had six children between us. Again, like most women, I was balancing children, step-children, work, friends, and a new marriage. This time was different though, as I was able to communicate my needs for my life — and a better understanding developed between my husband and me about all parts of our relationship. We then decided to have a child of our own two years ago and went back to diapers and sleepless nights. We understood the importance of weekend getaways, and we joked about the intimate life that we knew would pause once in awhile and play other times. There wasn’t pressure, and it helped. This year, I had to have a total hysterectomy, and now hormonal changes are a reality. But again, there is healthy conversation.

Finding Balance

I’m not trying to just explain my life in this answer. I’m trying to help men draw a parallel between their situation and mine because ultimately, we all deal with similar issues. I think most women struggle with balancing being a mom or grandmother with being a lover. The more we are reminded that we are failing at it, the more stressful it becomes, and the more likely we are to pull away. We don’t pull away out of a lack of love, but instead, we just want to remove one thing from our list — even though rationally we know it is just causing a problem. I think the best thing a man can do is truly understand the different phases of our lives. Women do understand that men want sex, and that doesn’t change as much for men as it does for women (drawing from years of conversations with both genders in that statement). I’m not trying to simplify it, but we have spent our lives being looked at or even touched by men inappropriately (a hug that is way too tight, or a smack to the rear that is uninvited). We all have at one time or another just felt like a body rather than a soul, and it does have an impact on our feelings about sex.

The best thing our partner can do is understand us, rather than reminding us that we are failing them in this area. Such supportive ideas might include:

• Ask us what you can do to help take things off of our plate.
• Listen to us rather than trying to just solve everything.
• Allow breaks from intimacy if that is what we need without making a big deal out of it.
• Recognize the different times in our lives when we may struggle with our role in our own life (are we a mother or a wife?).

What Happens if Intimacy is Gone?

Ultimately, a lack of intimacy can lead to an end of a marriage or an affair. If the intimacy is gone, a couple needs to sit down and talk about why it is gone. If there aren’t any physical issues that can be treated by a doctor, then the relationship is off track and needs help. Sadly, there are times when a couple will just become friends and nothing more. If that works for both partners, then it is fine. If it doesn’t, then the partner looking for more may have to consider ending the relationship. I have heard of open marriages, but I think those two terms together don’t work. Maybe patience is the answer. Try telling your partner that you aren’t going to bring it up for three months, and at the end of the three months, sit down and talk with one another and see if anything is different. Be a good friend during that time, trying to understand all of the ins and out of your partner’s life and how you can help her.

Passion is built on trust, and I think also requires energy. Helping your partner find some energy could be the answer.

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When you were an expecting mom, you likely researched and read books on what to expect when you’re expecting.

But when you’re a new mom with a new baby, you likely forgot everything you read, now only thinking in your sleep-deprived mind, “What now? How, what, when and how will I care for this new little one?”

Or even little ones, for those of you lucky enough to have multiples like I was.

Just consider this: Many women have babies. You can do this.

As a postpartum doula, I have helped many new families though this new parenting phase.

My mantra is “You do what works.”

Really, at the end of the day, you need to feel good about yourself — and your new baby needs to be cared for.

So many of us new moms immediately feel a brand new feeling we later (after the newborn fog has lifted) understand to be Mom guilt. I often remind moms about this: Guilt implies you have done something wrong. Get over it now. In my experience, these feelings can take you down a dark path. As a new mom, you only want what’s best for your family, baby and you.  So don’t feel guilty. You do what works. And remember, you’re learning.

Here are a few quick observations that you’ll want to remember as you approach this time in your life:

• We never stop learning as moms.
• We as moms never stop learning from other moms.
• Finding other moms for support is critical for your mental health.
• As early as when you’re pregnant, seek out other new moms. Look in places like mom groups, neighbors, pregnancy classes and online.
• We as moms face many trials and tribulations, but in the end, you do what works.

So what exactly does “You do what works” mean?

Feeding

Is your baby fed? Feeding sometimes is automatic, but most times it’s not. Lucky for all of us, we have an amazing community that specializes in this. If you plan on breastfeeding, consult a lactation expert before your baby comes. Have this resource available once your hungry newborn has made an entrance.

If you plan on bottle feeding, be prepared. Have the supplies for pumping. Have plenty of formula for the baby. Know how much Intake baby will need to get along. These things — if you research before baby — makes the mom transition smoother.

Sleep

New moms only sleep if baby is sleeping. As a postpartum doula, this is by far my area of expertise. Sleep is so important for the family. And while it may seem impossible to get everyone sleeping as they need to, it just takes time to figure out what will work for you and your family. When you’re able to figure out your baby’s sleep schedule, you’ll be able to fulfill your need for sleep. Trust me, it is possible to have a new baby learn to be awake in daytime for an hour or so then nap, and it’s also possible for baby to stay in sleeping mode in the night — even with 3-hour feeds. As a new mom, you’ll quickly learn to sleep when baby does. It won’t be sleep like before, but it can be sleep to function mentally and physically.

Remember: You do what works. It’ll take some time, and it’ll take patience for yourself, your family and your newborn — but it’ll all be worth it as you watch baby thrive.

After having twins, Heather McCreary discovered a great need for new moms who needed help with their new roles. In 2006 she became a Certified Postpartum Doula with DONA Doulas of North America. Working full time as a postpartum doula, she has worked with more than 100 families locally as well as out of state. Postpartum doulas provide families information and support on infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery from childbirth, infant soothing, and coping skills for new parents. Heather can be reached at Takecaredoula@yahoo.com or 775-722-7083. Visit TakeCareDoula.com for more information.

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Tonight I said goodnight to you for the last time as a 1-year-old. It may seem silly to feel so nostalgic. I know nothing changes in the next 12 hours while you sleep. I know you’ll still wake up and greet me at my side of the bed with an adorably cute and tired “mo’ning” at roughly 6:30 am. You’ll still snuggle up next to me on the couch with your blankie and watch “Sesame Street” before breakfast. But for some reason, today it really hit me that you’re growing up just as fast as everyone told me you would. In the blink of an eye, you went from squishy newborn to a walking, talking boy.

So today, instead of frantically cleaning the house in preparation for your birthday celebration, I spent as much time soaking in my 1-year-old as possible. I read you extra stories and listened as you repeated, or attempted to, so many of the words. I watched your brain grow as you figured out how to break, and subsequently fix, your red toy car. I didn’t help you feed yourself soup for lunch because you wanted to do it alone, which made me realize all the months of feeding you bite-by-bite are now gone.

I let you stay up later than usual before your afternoon nap because you just wanted me to sing one more song. I rocked you and sang “Twinkle, Twinkle” three extra times until your eyes closed and your breathing deepened, and then I let you sleep in my arms while I watched your sweet little angel face.

I laughed as you strutted around with pride in your new training underwear, yelling “roar” and pointing at the dinosaurs printed on the front. I cheered with you excitedly when you went potty in the toilet; although I can’t say I’m terribly sad to say goodbye to your diapers.

Outbursts and cries didn’t seem so bad today. I realize that these moments come from frustration as you try to get me to understand what you want to say, but just don’t yet have the words. I tried to be extra patient today. I gave you extra kisses, extra snuggles, extra tickles.

Maybe it’s also partly the fact that your little brother will be joining our family soon that has caused me to focus on your baby days. Or the fact that I stopped calling you “Baby” because you soon won’t be the baby and, well, you’re not one now. Or maybe it’s really just that the past two years truly have flown by that makes me want to savor every moment.

Tomorrow you’ll be 2. Then 3, and 4… And before I know it, you’ll have hairy man legs and my little 1-year-old will only live in my memories (and the thousands of photos and videos I’ve taken of you). So good night my little boy, and know that I plan to do everything in my power to cherish every moment we have for ever and ever.

About Amy Demuth

Born and raised in Sparks, Amy Demuth recently left her full-time position at a public relations firm to be home with her son and take a crack at the whole stay-at-home-mom thing. With a son turning 2 and another on the way, she’s currently preparing for the adventure that will be having a toddler and an infant at home. Amy and her husband love taking the family out to enjoy the outdoors, where you might find them camping or at the lake on any given weekend.

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