There is one statistic that local moms are focused on right now.

Twenty students have been involved in traffic accidents this school year alone.

Nevada is one of the top 10 states with the worst drivers, with some of the highest rates of bicyclist and pedestrian deaths in the nation.

This local issue strikes fear in the hearts of every local parent I know.

But what can we actually do to improve pedestrian safety — the safety of our children — here in Reno?

EDUCATION

The place where we have the most influence is with our own children. I personally use every news release of a pedestrian accident as a teaching moment with my kids. Are they sick of hearing about it? Yes, they are. Will I stop? No.

The reminders I give my children, who walk to and from school on their own, is the same each time. The message consists of these statements:

• You are responsible for your own safety.
• Assume all drivers are not paying attention.
• Always use crosswalks on busy streets.
• Don’t rely on the paint of a crosswalk to keep you safe. Stop and make sure the cars see you and are stopping before you step into the crosswalk. A driver may be breaking the law if they don’t stop for you, but you could end up dead, so the stakes are higher for you as a walker.
• Never use your phone when walking on busy streets. In fact, my kids just leave their phones at home. I can’t tell you how many teens I see in my neighborhood walking around with headphones on and looking down as they cross the street.

Sometimes, I’ll walk to meet my kids on their way home from school. I never tell them when I’m doing it, but each time I’m testing them on their pedestrian safety.

Every time I see a pedestrian making a poor decision, I make sure to tell my kids about it. “See that kid who just crossed without a crosswalk?” “See that person that didn’t watch to make sure traffic was stopping?” I figuratively beat it into their heads on a regular basis. We don’t know the full stories behind the local student accidents this year, but what I do know is that I’ve seen many students making poor decisions that are putting their safety at risk. I’ve seen them jaywalking across Mt. Rose Highway, staring at phones while stepping out in front of cars. It troubles me that many students seem to think they are invincible.

DRIVE RESPONSIBLY

I think you don’t have to remind most parents to do this, but we are all busy. Don’t be tempted to be in a rush or on the phone when you’re in a school zone. Washoe County School District has these reminders:

• Avoid any distractions while driving and remind your children to do the same when walking to or from school.
• Obey all traffic laws and direction from authorities and be aware of the crosswalks in your neighborhood and along your commute.
• Never double-park or pick up/drop off children in an unsafe manner that requires them to unsafely cross the street.
• Don’t block the crosswalk when stopped at a red light or waiting to make a turn.
• Stop and yield to pedestrians using the crosswalks.
• If your children regularly wear dark clothing to school, reflective tape could help make them more visible to motorists in the area.

TAKE CIVIC ACTION

Have you seen an area that needs improved safety? Contact Reno Direct to report it. Reach out to your local Commissioners. Talk to your child’s principal. We can help our local officials identify what areas need attention.

We need a movement here in Reno to make pedestrian safety a priority. Start with your family. Influence our community. Together we can protect what’s most important to us!

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Something about the new year prompts a fascination with resolutions and bucket lists. We feel compelled to list out all the things we want to get done or experience, yet we rarely check everything off those lists.

Almost every time I open my web browser, I see one: some story about a place one should go, the things one must eat, the sites one HAS to see before one dies. I can’t open Facebook without someone pointing to some amusement park ride, spa, restaurant, town, or experience that’s being added to a “bucket list.”

There’s a bucket list out there for everything — from “Your Summer Bucket List” and the “Ultimate Holiday Bucket List” to a bucket list for the next time I’m in San Francisco. And in case it’s not already hard enough to keep track of my own list of things I want to do in this lifetime, there’s actually a website called Bucketlist.org that tracks the 1,000 things we should all do before we die.

Jeez, who needs THAT pressure?

Also, can we have a conversation about the term “bucket list”? Popularized by the 2007 Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman film of the same name, the term refers to the list of things a person wants to accomplish before kicking the bucket, but it has become a ubiquitous way to describe any sort of wish list. And it’s increasingly become a phrase I hate. I see it as a copout, a way to put off doing something without guilt or the need to face a fear. We’ve all gotten used to the idea that adding a thing we’ve always wanted to do to some imaginary list no one is tracking will alleviate the pressure to hurry up and do it, or the guilt about not having done it already.

Let’s not treat kicking the bucket as a fun way to make a listicle.

As I write this blog, it is my 48^th birthday. I am squarely in the middle of my life, and perhaps even past it. Every year, time seems to speed up a little more, and the list of things I want to do is getting longer, not shorter. We’re kidding ourselves if we think we have all this time to tackle a list, or that there will be some sort of warning bell when it’s time to start ticking off list items. If that were the case, I think mid-life is when that would happen, and I’m here to tell you, I ain’t hearin’ no bells. And I don’t want to wait until I’m dying to start living.

Something that happened this summer prompted me to write this. In August, I attended the funeral of a teenaged boy. Young Tim, the son of some old friends we haven’t spent nearly enough time with in recent years, was cruelly and suddenly taken by hanta virus. Without warning he went from completely healthy, a month before his 18^th birthday and on the precipice of setting out for his freshman year of college, to, in a matter of days, hospitalized for a mysterious lung infection and dead in a matter of hours.

The funeral, which filled the large church to its brim with stunned well-wishers, was a surreal experience. But as all of us sat dumbstruck that such a horrifying thing could happen, that this wasn’t just a nightmare, something also struck me as ironic and, in a way, lovely. Tim’s older sister and brother stood before us, delivering a poignant eulogy about how Tim had lived, to the fullest.

It wasn’t what I expected to hear. I expected we’d hear about stolen time, about him being ripped away just as his life was starting. Those things are true. But it gave me great joy to hear, as his siblings insisted, that he had said important things to those he loved, seized opportunities, traveled to new places, tried new experiences, and taken risks. He experienced a loving family, amazing friends, love and heartbreak, joy and sorrow.

It made me think that perhaps, if his life had to be cut short in
this way, at least… at the very least, there was this: He had not wasted the time he had.

The pain his family endures over his loss is something I can’t imagine, but in the months since that funeral, I’ve become surer than ever that this idea of a bucket list is ridiculous. At 48, I’ve already been in love several times. I’ve started a business, seen the Grand Canyon, seen my work published in print, ridden a hot-air balloon, been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and watched Old Faithful erupt a glorious cloud of steam.

But have I spent enough quality time with the people who mean the most to me? Have I said enough “I love yous”? Have I thanked my parents for their love and support? Have I even tried to make my grandma’s recipe for nutrolls? Have I made the most of the time I’ve had?

Few of us have. Like everyone else, I’m guilty of wasting time on trivial things — watching TV, staring at my phone. Meanwhile, there are people I still need to have important conversations with, friends to laugh with, more hand-holding to do with my husband, games still to play with my daughter, lessons to share with her, and so many of her important moments still to come. The list of things I still want to do and haven’t yet done keeps getting longer, not shorter. It outnumbers the list of things I’ve done.

As I’m constantly reminded, there will never be a time when I stop adding to the list. Because the older we get, the more we learn of things we can and must do, and the faster life seems to slip away from us — all just as we realize how precious that time really is. We throw things on a list so we can wait for that “perfect time,” but when is that? Will we even recognize it when it happens? And what if it never comes?

My daughter will only be this young once. The trip to Italy I’ve been saving over eight years for must be taken soon, while I can still see those young, innocent eyes light up with the discovery of a new language and culture, and while she still wants to see the world while holding her parents’ hands. And as I was reminded this summer, as I wept for the boy I didn’t really know and wished I had, you never know what day will be your last.

So what are you waiting for? Don’t put it on your bucket list. Just go do it.

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I have 16 photos of my 3-year-old son on what would be his final day of life. In 14 of them, he is wearing a life jacket or puddle jumper, time-stamped photos of my boy, grinning proudly as we unknowingly marched toward the end.

Our precious Levi, drowned in June 2018, while we were on a beach vacation with friends. One moment, he was sitting on the couch, watching TV while I cleaned up after dinner. In the next, I pulled his lifeless body from the bottom of the pool.

Levi had somehow slipped out of the living room filled with children and adults, including myself, my husband, and five other physician friends. We weren’t drinking, weren’t on our phones, and the pool was not even in our line of vision.

I was the one who glanced, unsuspectingly, over the balcony and found our Levi, my guttural screams bringing a rush of people outside.

The confusion of “But, we weren’t even swimming!?” hung in the air, as we grappled to make sense of the senseless.

We begged to trade places with this boy who had so much life left to live and who we had somehow failed to protect. But, despite immediate attention, including being fully intubated before the ambulance even arrived, we lost Levi just hours later.

How did our son drown? How were years of intentional parenting canceled out within seconds?

Levi’s death rests on my husband and me. We failed to keep him safe, and there is no denying that fact. But, I have since learned that water safety goes far beyond the assumed foolproof advice of “watch your kids while swimming.”

As a society, we brush aside the threat of drowning. “Tsk, tsk,” we say from the safety of our iPhones as we casually scroll (often inaccurate, sensationalized) news reports on drowning. We find the loophole rather than facing the fear that this could be us. This stigma around drowning is the greatest threat to prevention efforts.

I never imagined one of my children would drown. Water knocked me off my high horse.

I’m not just a mom with a broken heart: the statistics back me up. Drowning is the #1 cause of death for kids 1-4, a toddler can drown in less than one minute, and at least 69% happen when kids aren’t even swimming. It remains the #2 cause of death for 5-14 year-olds. And, then it spikes AGAIN for teens, who are drowning in natural water.

Since losing Levi, I have turned to advocacy, desperate to educate parents on what I wish I had known about water safety. I have even had the honor of partnering with the American Academy of Pediatricians on a drowning prevention toolkit.

Despite the staggering numbers, drowning is mostly viewed as an afterthought by our culture. Parents only know what they know. But, we owe it to our children to learn more and to do better.

So, what do I wish I had known about drowning before June 2018?

• Drowning happens to real children who are loved and adored. Even the AAP cites: “Drowning is silent and can happen in
  one minute.” There is no splashing or yelling. There is no time.
• Toddlers are drowning when it is NOT a swim time. At least 69% of toddler drowning deaths occur during unanticipated access
  to water.
• Layers of protection are vital: 4 sided fencing, pool alarms, door alarms, designated supervision. Parents should know
  CPR. Yet, Levi had 3 layers in place when he somehow slipped away; the one layer that I believed would have saved him is the
  ability to self-rescue. He did not know how to swim.
• All swim lessons are not created equally. Lessons need to prioritize teaching a respect for water along with the ability
  to self-rescue / to float. If your child has been in lessons for months and has not made progress, you need to look into a different program. Period.
  We do not stand in a parking lot and tell our children, “Come on in! It’s so much fun!” Yet, this is exactly what we do
  with water. Before you begin a swim program, observe a lesson and talk to current parents. Choose a program that prioritizes safety over fun. The fun and appreciation for water need to come along with the ability to survive in it.
• Avoid using puddle jumpers and other flotation devices in swimming pools. They provide a false sense of security and lead to muscle memory (in the vertical “drowning position”).
• I cannot emphasize enough: your toddlers and children need to learn to swim. In 2019, the AAP revised their recommendation
  on swim lessons, citing that evidence proves swim lessons beginning at age 1 may be beneficial to prevent drowning.
• Natural water (lakes, rivers, the ocean) is a different beast than pools; it is deep, dark, and filled with currents.
  Everyone should wear a life jacket any time they are in natural water. Teens (especially teenage boys) are drowning at extremely high rates in lakes and oceans.

I will actually be in Reno, March 11 from 5-7pm at Renown Regional Medical Center’s Mack Auditorium, sharing Levi’s story and answering questions about water safety. I hope you will join us and will learn exactly what to do to keep your children safe around water. You can RSVP for this free event here.

Thank for your open mind and heart to believe me on this very important topic.

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I’ve heard this question many times in the decades I’ve been practicing dentistry. The short answer is that good dental hygiene matters just as much — if not more so — for baby teeth than for adult teeth. The reason is that our teeth affect many areas of development, from chewing to talking. Children have their baby teeth from approximately 6 months to 12 years, and a lot of development happens during this time. 

How baby teeth help with development

Primary (baby) teeth serve as a guide for permanent teeth to grow into the right position in the mouth. Ideally, a permanent tooth follows the root of the baby tooth it’s replacing, or it will come in between the roots of the baby molars. When there’s a missing baby tooth, there’s a possibility that the permanent tooth may not grow into place in the jawbone.

Teeth are present in the lower jawbone (mandible) and the upper jawbone (maxilla). Both of these bones are attached to the rest of the jaw with the help of tendons and muscles. It is the intricate coordination of all these structures, along with the tongue, that allows us to chew food, make sounds and communicate.

• Chewing: We know that we need our teeth to help chew our food, but let’s examine that for a minute. By chewing our food, we break it down into smaller portions, which allows food particles to be exposed to digestive enzymes found in our saliva. Our mouth has many ducts that empty salivary enzymes produced by salivary glands. The rolling of the tongue helps mix the food up with the saliva and the enzymes present in it. This is why babies are given food in pureed form while we’re waiting for their primary teeth to grow in. Adults and children who don’t have adequate teeth have trouble digesting food, which can lead to constipation.
• Talking: We need age-appropriate teeth to be able to speak and enunciate words in an appropriate way. Many people who have an inadequate number of teeth will have trouble with speech. Though most children do adapt over a period of time, it makes sense to not create additional challenges for them if it’s not necessary. 

Healthy teeth are about more than beautiful smiles

When teeth are not taken care of properly, they are susceptible to cavities. When a cavity gets closer to the nerve, the individual experiences pain and sensitivity to hot and cold. This usually lasts a few seconds to a minute or so. When this decay has had the opportunity to get deeper over time, bacteria present in the cavity advances into the nerve chamber of the tooth. This is when an individual has a full-blown toothache, and they may be writhing in pain. In other words, an infected baby tooth elicits the same intensity of pain that an adult tooth does. The longer a cavity is left without restoring it per a dentist’s recommendation, the higher the possibility that the individual will experience pain associated with a tooth infection.

Though less common, not taking care of baby teeth can lead to the shape of the child’s face changing. Here’s how: When teeth are lost prematurely, the supporting bone around that tooth will atrophy (break down) because it no longer has a purpose. When this happens in the whole mouth, there is a reduction in the size of the upper and lower jaw. This leads to a change in the jaw and facial profile of the individual. When this happens over a long period of time, the affected portion of the jaw gets weaker and has the potential to fracture easily with trauma. It also cannot support prosthetic pieces such as dentures or other restorations that allow for the proper functioning of the jaw.

These are just a few reasons it’s so important to take care of baby teeth, which is one of the reasons we offer free visits for babies on or before their first birthdays. We work with our families to start children off on a lifetime of good dental hygiene, and everything that goes along with that. 

Dr. Perry Francis, his wife and two children have called Reno home for 34 years. At his practice, Wild About Smiles, his team specializes in dental care for infants, children, young adults and people with special needs. He has offices in Sparks (very close to Reno, given its convenient freeway access at 395 and North McCarran) and Fallon. Call to make an appointment: (775) 331-9477.

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I write this in week eight of the stay at home mandate. We’ve all had a different quarantine experience, and wanted to share our stories so that you know… You’re not alone… Yes, this is hard… And we’re in this together, even though we may physically be a part.

Work and Homeschooling

The Good: I already had a work from home job, so the transition was seamless. The charter school my kids attend made a remarkably fast transition to continue curriculum in virtual learning.

The Bad: Being a teacher’s aid and technical support while I’m trying to juggle my day job is a lot of added stress. There have been missteps with the mute button while on work Zoom calls, which is unfortunate, but what can you expect?!

The Ugly: I let my 5th grader take ownership of the transition to virtual school. After all of his grades dropped to D’s and F’s (we’re at a charter school), I learned I have to get in and helicopter the crap out of his schoolwork. It has also been a constant battle to manage his screentime and access to technology while I work at my job!

The Beautiful: All of my coworkers and clients are in the same situation, so suddenly having kids at home is the norm, and people are much more understanding. That is truly a beautiful thing.

Family Life 

The Good: I had always wished for more time with my kids. Well, I got it. It’s definitely a change for me not to be driving all around town trying to keep up with two kids’ activities and carpools! The kids are much more amenable to family walks or hikes now that it’s their only opportunity to get out of the house.

The Bad: I don’t think we’re alone in this, but our tempers can flare quickly. I think it’s the undercurrent of how much has changed and how much is uncertain, but simple issues can blow up into fights at a moment’s notice. I’m also 100% over cooking dinner every freaking night. I use the excuse of supporting local businesses to get me out of that responsibility a few times a week!

The Ugly: I was joking at one point how dogs were the winners of this pandemic, as everyone was out walking their dogs. Our dog was getting lavished in attention and was walked at least four times a day. It was beautiful. Until it wasn’t. Our precious Ella Bella had been battling kidney disease for a year and a half. The pandemic caused a delay in the shipment of her prescription food, and when I tried to offer her other food, it sent her into a tailspin of kidney failure. We went from having her frolic in the snow one day to getting a terminal diagnosis from the vet and putting her to sleep two days later. I know people have lost their family members due to COVID-19, so I try to keep this all in perspective. But losing my fur-baby at a time when we’re all quarantined at home and without much to distract us from that gaping hole in our hearts really gutted me. I had been holding it all together up until the moment I had to hold my dog as she took her last breath. I went into a tailspin of depression. I definitely sank into that hole of despair cursing this damn pandemic for trying to take away so many things that I love, and succeeding indirectly with this one thing I cherished.

I decided it was the perfect time for a puppy. I really felt the way to heal all of our hearts was to give love to another dog. Unfortunately, it turned out that puppies are as popular as toilet paper during a pandemic, and I soon found that finding any dog — a puppy, an adult, a foster, a rescue, a purebred — was ridiculously competitive and challenging. This definitely did not help with the depression.

The Beautiful: I had all but given up on getting a puppy any time soon. But I did one last search for my dream dog… And found a search result saying there was a litter 10 miles from my house. SAY WHAT?! I called immediately, and found it was a local breeder I had heard about for years, but didn’t have enough details to track him down. My family was the first to show up to look at the puppies and were able to have our pick of the litter. We brought him home a week later. This cuddly, wiggly, affectionate little boy, Bodie Joe, has been healing our hearts one puppy kiss at a time. We still miss our Ella Bella, but getting a puppy was truly what we needed at this point in time. It felt like a bit of divine intervention from above to bring this boy into our lives at the right time. Now, we are staying at home with a puppy who also has to stay at home until his vaccines are complete in 6 weeks. It makes the stay at home mandate much more tolerable! Did he add chaos to our life? Most definitely. But it’s a chaos I embrace!

A Note About Mental Health

Mental health has been something I’ve needed to work at and prioritize during this pandemic. I have been doing daily yoga sessions with Yoga Pod, connecting with my yogi community and my breath. Getting one hour a day dedicated to my mental and physical health and the teachings of my yoga instructors (Angie Fraley, I’m talking about YOU and your amazing team of yogis) have been an absolute lifeline. So have the telehealth sessions with a local family counselor, who has helped us navigate these uncharted waters. These are challenging times — I encourage you to determine what you need to maintain your mental health and make sure you get yourself what you need.

That’s the Cliff Notes version of what my life has been like over the past two months. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, but I am committed to making the most of this extra time at home with my family. I am so thankful that as of now, my extended family and friends have stayed healthy and that the biggest challenge we’ve dealt with was the loss of a pet. I’m seriously low on toilet paper because I thought all of you stocking up on toilet paper were ridiculous…  But now I’m wondering HOW DID YOU KNOW?! The installation of two bidet toilet seats has helped us get through the great toilet paper shortage (that is remarkably still persisting)!

We want to hear from you…  What has been The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and The Beautiful in your life during this historic time?

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Dear Jilleann:

I’m sorry you walked in on me crying tonight. But I had just watched a video documenting the “drive-up graduation” of a friend’s daughter from today, and I sat in disbelief thinking this is not the celebration you’ve earned.

It is literally the night before one of the most important days of your life to date. And yet it absolutely sucks. No spotlights and walking in procession before thousands of embarrassing cheering parents, no Pomp and Circumstance that begins with goose bumps but eventually fades into “OH MY GOD WILL IT EVER END,” no throngs of friends throwing their caps up in unison as yours is lost in a sea of flat blue mortarboards and silky tassels.

I was crying over what won’t happen tomorrow. I was crying over the sterility of the experience, the solitude, the fucking face masks we’ll be wearing and the fucking six feet apart we’ll be observing.

Pardon my sweariness. JK LOL nevermind, you’re used to it by now.

But you? You’re awesome. You are your typically happy self tonight, half-watching a mind-numbing show on Netflix with only one Air Pod in while scrolling through TikTok, and when we talked about my silly tears, you quickly pointed out the silver lining: “But aren’t I lucky?” you laughed, adding that at least you finished your diploma requirements early and didn’t have to endure what your friends did — those dreaded Zoom classes for the last three months.

But you know what? You’re so wrong. Because you’re not lucky. You’re SPECTACULAR.

You focused on your goal, buckled down and finished high school a semester early.

You left for a semester but came back home to Reno early in the midst of a global pandemic to help me with your little sister, to find a job that will help you save money for college while forfeiting time with friends in order to stay quarantined and keep us all healthy.

You have overcome unspeakable and seemingly insurmountable obstacles from the past, focusing on a future that will be characterized by helping countless people.

All because you’re one of the best, brightest, strongest people I know.

So on this, the literal eve of your graduation, I’m doing something similar to what I did for your brother years ago. I’m writing a letter to you that contradicts some of the conventional quotes you MIGHT have heard during the ceremony you should have tomorrow — in favor of some honest insights offered from the bottom of my heart.

I love you, Jill, and I’m so grateful. Grateful for your spirit, grateful for your beautiful soul, and grateful that we don’t have to endure endless graduation orations filled with trite quotations that say the absolute wrong thing.

Ha, there it is: That glorious silver lining.

So here you go. Please, Jill, don’t believe the following:

“Normality is a paved road: It is comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow.”
~ Vincent Van Gogh

First of all: Never ever ever accept words of wisdom from a dude who severed his own ear in a fit of rage while in a meaningless fight with his roommate. I mean, that’s just common sense.

But here’s where his quote leaves me a bit annoyed: “Normal” is a much-maligned word these days, but given our past, I kinda think we’d both ADORE a wee bit of “normality,” am I right? Honestly though, sometimes — though granted, not always — we can all appreciate a relaxing walk on a paved road. What I want you to consider is that “normal” is a relative term that means different things to different people. And if I know you (and almost 18 years after literally pushing you out of my body — have I mentioned without anesthesia? — I think I can say I do), I’d assume you’re perfectly capable of planting your own funky flowers right alongside that scenic and normal paved road. The takeaway: Create your own path, plant those peonies (or better yet, hope they just appear out of nowhere like they did in our own backyard), and find your perfect middle ground that is partially paved but still somewhat bumpy and uncomfortable.

And perhaps more than anything else: Don’t listen to tortured but talented artists who clearly aren’t caring for their own mental health.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
~ Epictetus

Um, excuse me, but who is this dude to definitively say what does and doesn’t matter? Because I would whole-heartedly suggest that what happens to us DOES matter. How we react to what happens to us ALSO matters. Much like that of the tormented mono-eared artistic genius above, I feel like this quote is offered by someone who is carelessly dismissing a basic truth. You, my dear daughter, have proven this truth time and again, both showing your resilience through the shit that does happen, but also flipping a giant bird at those events and redefining yourself in the face of them. You get to be both a combination of the things that happen, as well as how you choose to react. Don’t let anyone — even dudes who sound like they should be important because they just have one name — tell you otherwise.

“Be truthful, gentle, and fearless.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

Truthful and gentle, sure — I’m on board for both of those.

But fearless? NOPE.

Have fear, Jill. Fear can be a very powerful thing. Plus, 9 out of 10 dentists agree that people with no fear are more likely to sever their own ears (see quote 1, above).

Fear — or better yet, our reaction to the things in life that inspire fear in us — is instrumental in revealing our true mettle, in helping us overcome, in putting us in touch with our very simplest instincts. I want you to appreciate your fears, but I also want you to more often than not tackle those fears in smart, intentional, thoughtful ways. Don’t let fear derail you or control you, but do look at fear as a gut check about your own larger truths.

Your fears are telling you something powerful. Listen.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,
life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
~ Maya Angelou

Dear, sweet Maya Angelou: You speak such truths, and yet this one falls short. Jill, I need you to know that when people tell you “tomorrow will be better,” sometimes they’re full of shit. No offense, Maya (may you rest in peace). I have heard this expression more often than I can even count, and each time, I thought to myself, “Huh. Not entirely true, but thanks.” Tomorrow isn’t always better. That isn’t a guarantee. Just because the sun sets and then rises again, things aren’t miraculously better. We often have to do the very hard work to make things better, which means we can endure days and days and days of seemingly endless crap. Will it get better? Sure. Will it always happen tomorrow? Not so much.

(And before I get called out: Of course I understand the spirit of the symbol of “tomorrow,” but I am honestly so tired of the hollow “tomorrow” empty promise. We need to stop promising tomorrow with its 8- to 24-hour timeline, and instead offer an “eventually.” Because that, I can stand behind.)

“Be a pineapple: Stand tall, wear a crown and be sweet on the inside.”
~ Author unknown

Fuck pineapples. They’re super prickly and unwieldy on the outside, half of the thing is uselessly decorative, and if you eat too much, you’ll end up with blisters on your tongue.

(PS Did you know: That irritation is caused by a combination of enzymes in pineapples called bromelian, which break down proteins and essentially attack your tongue, cheeks and lips on contact. I mean, pineapples literally attack you! And so I say it again: Fuck pineapples.)

Instead, sweet daughter, I invite you to consider a far superior fruit: Be a lemon. Not only does one squeezed lemon provide 51 percent of your daily Vitamin C needs, but it’s also useful in cooking, in cleaning and in making your garbage disposal smell refreshingly cool and clean. And you can use the whole damn thing, inside and out! The takeaway: Be versatile, keep a little bit of that tart and sassy edge — and never underestimate the allure of a magically lemony garbage disposal.

Ok, now that we’ve eviscerated the trite quotes, here’s a bit of real-world advice from me to you:

1. Choose optimism. Life sometimes kicks us in the ass, but (as I know I’ve always annoyed you by saying), I do believe we must choose to be happy. I also choose to assume that others are coming from a place of good intentions — and I hope you will, too.
2. Always pack more outfits than you’ll need when you go on a trip, because a girl needs choices.
3. Share – whether that means your gifts, this earth or your own finite resources. What started as a lesson you learned from your annoying (but always well-intentioned) big brother and your first friend Macey in Miss Ginna’s class at Sierra Vista, still holds true today. You HAVE to share. You have so much to offer, and with everything in limited supply these days, sharing is an underrated concept. Please allow others to enjoy the things you have to offer, and share them abundantly.
4. I have two words for you: Dry shampoo. Find the one that works best on your hair, because it will solve a multitude of problems — from waking up late after a night out with friends and realizing you have a final at 8 a.m., to forgetting you made a last-minute date with a dude you really like and instead went to the gym.
5. Listen to your gut, but understand that even guts can be dead wrong. And please, forgive your gut when it lets you down, because it didn’t know any better.
6. Sing often. Life can be lonely, and sometimes there’s no better company than your own loud-and-proud voice as you ride in your car with the windows down singing at the top of your lungs, or as you dance alone in your dorm as you’re getting ready for a new day of school. We need to be reminded of the power of our own voice every now and then, and signing is a tangible way to do just that.
7. Fall in love with YOU, over and over again. You have a voice, a spirit, a personality that is loveable and awesome and so uniquely crazy-beautiful. But keep in mind that the inherent you-ness that is you will change, and sometimes, you will change a lot. As you start down this new path toward your future, first toward your nursing degree and eventually a career as a doctor, I want you to take time to truly get to know yourself and embrace the many iterations of “you” that you will be.
8. Acknowledge the fucked-up-ness of our world, but don’t lose sight of its overwhelming beauty. And if you feel too sad or lost or lonely or frustrated, call your mom, and I’ll tell you something funny (which will most likely involve a corny pun, because that’s what you love most in life).

And finally, I’m leaving you with a quote that may seem trite, but actually makes abundant sense:

“You can’t go back and change the beginning,
but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
~ C.S. Lewis.

The format of graduation sucks this year, but while we can’t change it, what I know you’ll do is use it as a springboard into the amazingly kick-ass life you have earned and so deserve.

Congratulations, Jilleann. Please know that I couldn’t be any prouder of my stunning, talented, smart and totally awe-inspiring girl.

I love you with all of my heart and soul,

Mom

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With the travel restrictions in place due to COVID-19, many families are staying close to home and have turned to camping as an alternative to other types of vacation. Additionally, RV dealerships are seeing an increase in sales by 30 percent over last year. With this influx of new campers and several months of closed campgrounds this past spring, it has been challenging to secure a camping reservation for this season.

Sierra Nevada Journeys has come up with a creative alternative to help get families outdoors safely and you don’t need to own an RV or tent.

Welcome to Family Camp at Grizzly Creek Ranch in Portola, California. Situated on 525 acres in the Plumas National Forest, Sierra Nevada Journeys’ Grizzly Creek Ranch has expansive open spaces and is an ideal setting for families to get outdoors and spend time in nature.

Family Camp will be hosted over five different weekends in September and October. It is set up where your family or quarantine friends (8-to-12 people) have exclusive use of a cabin — total of 12 cabins available each weekend. Your group can also participate in various camp activities — social distancing style.

A couple of parents who have attended our family programs, shared their enthusiasm for this year’s expansion of Family Camp.

“You mean I could relive summer sleepover camp WITH my kids? You mean I could get in that camping trip I promised them without having to pitch a tent or cook on a camp stove? Sign. Me. Up,” said Lynnette Bellin, a Reno mom with two children that have attended Sierra Nevada Journeys’ camps.

Susie Hodges, a parent who attended a weekend camp last year, said she appreciated being unplugged and that everything was planned for her family.

“We had fantastic weekend with Sierra Nevada Journeys! They took care of very last detail so that I could just relax and enjoy time with my child instead of being the planner in chief. I also really appreciated the encouragement to keep everyone off devices. It was great to see adults and kids alike enjoying nature and one another’s company,” said Hodges.

We’ll be having picnic lunches and barbecues for dinners; families have designated picnic tables at their cabin or can dine inside their cabin. Activities include archery, kayaking, a nature hike, and low challenge course elements. Also, we’re planning evening programs like trivia and time around the campfire – using physical distancing measures. Families will have time to play basketball, volleyball, gaga and 9 square in the air. It is a fun and stress-free way to camp.

“We’ve been hosting Family Camp over Labor Day weekend for the past eight years and it has been a huge success,” said Eaton Dunkelberger, CEO of Sierra Nevada Journeys. “Unfortunately, due to travel and field trip restrictions with schools, we won’t be seeing as many kids through our outdoor school at Grizzly Creek Ranch this fall. On a positive note, it does allow us to open the camp for families who’ve been quarantined together and expand Family Camp.”

Family Camp Dates:
September 4 – 7, 2020; Labor Day Weekend (4 Days, 3 Nights)
September 11 – 13, 2020 (3 Days, 2 Nights)
September 25 – 27, 2020 (3 Days, 2 Nights)
October 2 – 4, 2020 (3 Days, 2 Nights)
October 16 – 18, 2020 (3 Days, 2 Nights)

By bringing together your quarantine buddies, we’re able to safely open camp by adhering to local health agency guidelines. However, there are a few things to take into consideration while planning your weekend. Based on current restrictions from Plumas County Public Health Agency, we will only be able to serve groups whose participants reside in the following counties:

Nevada: Washoe, Douglas, Lyon, Storey, and Carson

California: Yolo, Sacramento, Sutter, El Dorado, Placer, Nevada, Yuba, Sierra, Plumas, and Lassen.

Also, campers are to stay on campus during their visit. Sierra Nevada Journeys is required to follow California State and local county requirements of personal protective equipment (PPE) for participants and employees; that means bring your mask.

You can learn more about Family Camp by visiting sierranevadajourneys.org/family-camp.

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By Waste Management of Northern Nevada

So much has changed this year, but the rules for recycling correctly are still the same. Recycling is the process of converting waste materials into new materials and objects. However, most households and people still don’t recycle the correct way. Now, with distance learning becoming the norm, and more school-aged children staying home during the daytime, Waste Management of Northern Nevada has some fun ideas to help you and your family test your recycling skills at home and challenge your kids to learn the right way.

Waste Management of Northern Nevada’s goal is to help the community recycle right so more material is recovered for recycling, saving precious resources and combating climate change. Typical recycling best practices include:

• recycling clean bottles, cans, paper and cardboard
• keeping food and liquid out of your recycling
• no loose plastic bags, and no bagged recyclables

When recycling is done right and you have the appropriately sized carts, you can help reduce overfilled carts. This helps reduce litter in our community’s streets and pollution in our storm drains, helping to keep Reno clean and green. Educating our community about recycling habits is a core mission of Waste Management of Northern Nevada.

Each week through the end of November, the Waste Management of Northern Nevada’s Facebook page will have a new creative project for you and your child to work on together under a contest called Waste Management’s 100 Days of Recycling.

With recurring activities for children on social media, Waste Management will keep families involved in recycling. Examples of activities include:

• creating artwork or science projects
• writing prompts on how to properly recycle
• virtual field trips to the landfill and transfer station

Each activity is aimed to teach the importance of recycling and how kids and the rest of the household can get involved and help recycle.

For example, a recent activity was focused on science and observational learning. The prompt asked contestants to “put on your binoculars and head outside, for this week’s challenge we want you to observe what’s in your own backyard! What kind of trees and plants are there? What animals do you see?”

These challenges focus on learning while children can participate in fun activities still be socially distant. Each weekly activity will remain open for submissions until the contest ends in November.

Each week, users are encouraged to participate in the activity of prompt and submit photos of their household completing each task. At the end of each week after a task is given, contest participants are entered to win prizes such as a package of passes to the Discovery Museum, a science and technology museum presenting interactive exhibits and temporary exhibitions, or a gift certificate to the Reno Puzzle Room, an escape game for the entire family!

Head to the Waste Management of Northern Nevada’s Facebook page each week to see the new prompts and tasks! Each activity is posted each Thursday and are open until the contest ends on November 30, 2020.

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By Kelli Goatley-Seals, MPH

When my son turned 16, he started looking for a job. Here is important context: I am a former contractor for a local health insurance company who provided wellness education to Nevada employees — including at local casinos.

So I told him one industry was completely off-limits: gaming.

The reason for this decree was the danger inherent to secondhand smoke. During the sessions I facilitated, I realized how prevalent exposure to smoke was in these workplaces, even for those not directly working in areas that allowed smoking. I personally saw the impact that secondhand smoke had on employees, because I had the chance to talk directly with them — I understood that they were concerned about their exposure and the health impacts that exposure was having on them.

This was all before the respiratory-virus-turned-pandemic that is now ravaging our world.

My son is now 18 and a freshman at the University of Nevada, Reno. And while I’m confident he’ll choose employment down the road that does not involve exposing himself to the toxins in smoke, the same can’t be said for some 40,000 employees in our area right now.

If their rate of smoking is similar to the overall smoking rate in Washoe County, the vast majority of those employees do not smoke. Yet they go to work every day and face untold dangers due to a potentially deadly combination of smoke and COVID.

People deserve to breathe clean, healthy air. They shouldn’t have to choose between clean air and a paycheck, and yet that’s the very choice many make during every shift. With unemployment numbers breaking record levels in Washoe County during this pandemic, some don’t have the choice to not work in a casino – this is what keeps roofs over their heads and food on the table for themselves and their families.

Most casino properties are clearly invested in the health of their employees, as evidenced by the very presence of the wellness classes I’ve taught. Tobacco education was part of these classes, covering topics like why smoking and using tobacco is harmful for health and how secondhand and third-hand smoke can also be harmful. Employees were provided with resources for quitting and strategies for reducing their exposure to secondhand smoke, which included ideas like making their homes and cars smoke free.

But casinos are putting their employees at risk with an environment that exposes them to tobacco smoke.

During the Q&A time of the casino wellness sessions, there were always comments and concerns from employees about the impacts of their workplace secondhand smoke exposure. Attendees would report going home after a shift with burning eyes, a sore throat, or a headache after being exposed to smoke during their shift. I would also often hear stories about employees who had their asthma triggered by tobacco smoke exposure at work.

This experience working with casino employees is one of the reasons I’m a founding member of Smoke Free Truckee Meadows, a movement of supporters who are working to pass local laws to protect the health of every casino and bar employee/guest. While the Nevada Clean Indoor Air Act ensures smoke-free air in many workplaces, smoking is still permitted in gaming areas of casinos and in age-restricted stand-alone bars. These aren’t just social hangouts; they are where nearly 40,000 Nevadans earn a living. We believe their health should not be jeopardized simply because they are at work.

We started the Smoke Free Truckee Meadows movement before COVID became a common word in our lexicon, and yet the realities of smoke-free workplaces are now more important than ever before. Some casinos are answering the call to ensure cleaner air: Over 150 casinos across the nation are reopening smoke free after COVID closures, joining almost 800 casinos that were already smoke free. Just a little over a month ago, the gaming destination Park MGM in Las Vegas announced its casino would be completely smoke-free.

Health is in laser-focus now more than ever before. And now more than ever, we should do everything in our power to reduce health risks while people are at work.

If you’re interested in adding your voice to our movement – perhaps you have a loved one employed by a casino, or a close friend/relative who has suffered due to smoke exposure, or simply because you have a future 16-year-old-prospective employee whom you’d like to proactively protect – please sign our petition. The collective power of the petition’s signatories can send a strong message to those who can make changes to protect our local employees.

Then, visit SmokeFreeTruckeeMeadows.org. We’ve put together resources there where you can learn about the dangers of secondhand smoke, get involved, and find smoke-free establishments that have taken the initiative to protect their employees. We even have a place where you can input your zip code, which brings up a list of your elected officials — and a sample message you can send their way. Municipalities have the power to enact local laws that supersede the state and federal laws. Let’s encourage our elected officials in Reno, Sparks and Washoe County to make enacting this law a priority.

It’s time. Because no casino or bar employee should have to put their life on the line just to earn a paycheck.

SIGN THE PETITION AT CHANGE.ORG HERE. 

Kelli Goatley-Seals, MPH, is a Reno mom, president of the Nevada Tobacco Prevention Coalition and a founding member of Smoke Free Truckee Meadows.

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By Jennifer Pearson, PhD, MPH

While I’m not a mother, I spend a lot of time teaching young adults as a professor at the University of Nevada, Reno. I’m also a researcher focused on tobacco and e-cigarette policy; and part of my role is to provide facts to policymakers so they can make the best possible decisions to enact policies that support people in living long, healthy lives.

The issue of vaping is particularly relevant to parents, as it can cause addiction and respiratory problems for young people (middle school through early 20s). But far too many adults don’t fully understand the consequences.

The dangers of vaping for non-smokers, youth, and young adults

While switching from smoking cigarettes to vaping is harm-reducing for adult smokers, that is absolutely not true for teens and young adults. Yes, e-cigarettes are less harmful than the top cause of preventable death in the U.S., but they’re not harmless.

Here are some of the reasons why:

• Nicotine is addictive. Many electronic vapor products heat liquids that contain nicotine, the same drug that makes cigarettes addictive. When e-cigarettes first became popular in the U.S. about seven or eight years ago, most delivered very little nicotine to the user. But now a lot of e-cigarettes use a different formulation — a nicotine salt solution — that makes it much easier for the nicotine to be absorbed into the body. People who use these nicotine salt solution e-cigarettes have blood nicotine concentrations that look a lot like they’re smoking cigarettes.
• That means that the risk of addiction to these new e-cigarettes is a lot higher than it used to be. This is why a lot of adolescents and young adults who start vaping regularly find they don’t feel good unless they continue to vape. That’s the problem with addiction — at first using a substance makes you feel good, but after a while your body gets used to it and you need the drug to just to feel normal.
• While we don’t have hard data linking vaping with COVID, it stands to reason that sharing e-cigarettes between multiple people, combined with blowing vape toward one another, is not an ideal way to stay safe from this infectious disease that attacks the lungs.
• With some kids, we are finding a link between vaping and alcohol, marijuana, and other substance use. I’m not saying that e-cigarette use “causes” other substance use, but the behaviors do tend to travel together. We can all probably think back to our teen years and think of reasons why that might be. Parents should consider vaping a toe dipped in the water of other risky behavior, as it is the easiest one for teens to acquire and to hide from their parents.
• We’re finding that e-cig use is more common among young people who report experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other types of mental distress. They might be using e-cigarettes to take the edge off their symptoms, and they need healthy tools to help them cope. If you find out your teens have been vaping, it’s important to talk to them about what’s on their mind and look for signs of depression and other types of mental distress.

Spending time with friends could mean extra opportunities for vaping

Many of our kids are preparing for a return to in-person school, rather than distance or hybrid learning. So why is going back to school relevant to this conversation? Data shows that 48.7% of Nevada high school students borrow their e-cigarettes from friends, which means that returning to their friends could mean a return to vaping.

While I’m certainly not suggesting keeping young people away from their friends, it’s vitally important that parents understand the dangers of vaping — and that parents are open to talking to their children about this important issue.

Are you wondering if this is something that affects your child? Data suggests there’s a good chance. Data from the 2019 Nevada Youth Risk Behavior Survey show that 22.5% of high school students had vaped in the last 30 days, compared to 15.5%  in 2017. In certain counties within the northern and rural regions of Nevada, over 36% of high school students had vaped in the past month. 

The Nevada Tobacco Prevention Coalition’s LetsTalkVaping.com website shares some signs to look for:

• Change in mood: Because nicotine addiction can cause mood swings, teens may be unusually irritable, short-tempered or exhibiting impulsive or risk-taking behavior.
• Problems at school: Nicotine can affect brain development, memory and learning. If your child is struggling more than usual at school, vaping is one possible reason.

Of course as we all know, adolescence tends to be a time when irritability and mood swings are common; it’s also a time when school can take a back seat to socialization, which can translate to a drop in grades. The NTPC understands, offering, “These symptoms might sound like teens just being teens, but if you see a lot of these come on at once, it might be time to take a closer look. So if you see these signs, or find devices you don’t recognize, it’s definitely time for a talk.”

About that talk

The good news is that young people do care what their parents think, though that might not always seem obvious. Our research shows that if kids think their parents disapprove of e-cigarette use, they are much less likely to use them, and this is especially true for middle schoolers. Parents need to make sure their children understand that vaping is not acceptable, that it is not just water vapor, and that vaping is addictive.

It can be difficult to have conversations like this with teens and young adults. I like what LetsTalkVaping.com has to share:

• Try to avoid announcing “the talk” or lecturing your teen. Instead, look for ways you can work your concerns into everyday conversations. Car rides or walks are great places to try this.
• Take a deep breath, go for a walk, or stretch if you’re upset. A calm chat will get you further.
• Ask them questions about things they say to you. Repeat what you’re hearing back to them.
• Don’t cut the conversation short. Give your teen space to say everything they need to.
• Express concern, not judgment, where needed. Instead of saying you’re “disappointed” in them try saying you are “worried” about them.
• Address peer pressure. Brainstorm real-life situations with your teen where they might encounter vaping, and talk about ways they could handle them.
• Good, factual information is more effective than scare tactics. Give your teen good reasons to avoid vaping.
• Keep your words and body language relaxed and neutral.
• If someone in the family vapes, like a parent or an older sibling, try talking with them about limiting their use around your teen.
• Be patient. You were a teen once. Try not to get frustrated with your teen, or yourself. It might take a few tries to get through to them, and that’s okay.

Helping them quit

As mentioned above, nicotine is highly addictive, and helping your teen quit may not be easy. But it is important. Let’s Talk Vaping recommends the My Life, My Quit program. This free and confidential service is for people under 18 who want to quit all forms of tobacco and e-cigarette use.

I know parenting isn’t easy, particularly during a pandemic, and I am sorry to be giving you one more thing to worry about. However, taking action now can prevent a future health issues for your teen or young adult.

Jennifer Pearson, PhD, MPH, is an assistant professor at the University of Nevada, Reno (UNR).

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